Gym Rudeness

Today is back to the normal work grind, which is a good thing because once again I have huge piles on my desk. The gym managed to open 20 minutes late today which messed with my workout (and this is becoming a constant problem for this gym). Oh, and I failed to mention on Monday the piece of rudeness which took my breath away. I take a morning spin class on Mon/Fri. The rule is that everyone puts their towel and water on the bike of their choice, and yes some of us have bikes we always pick. Then, most people go warm up on a treadmill or stretch until the class starts. I went on monday to warm up and came back to my bike to discover another person in the class removing my bike seat because the one on the bike next to it was broken. I was stunned, my bike had a towel on it and was clearly going to be used during the class and he simply took the seat anyway, when I showed up he refused to put the seat back and did not even apologize. Thus, I was forced to find another bike in the very small room. So, now the bike I always use is broken and unusuable. I am contemplating preemptively stealing his normal bike on Friday just to point out how rude he was on Monday. However, I do not think he will get the hint especially since my polite "excuse me what are you doing to my bike?" had no effect. I hate people like that, especially since there were multiple empty bikes in the room which he could have (a) moved to or (b) switched seats with and not mine. Sigh, I will never understand how people's brains work.

GUILTY!

Below is an edited version of the press release in this case, names have been altered to protect the unknowing and locations have been removed along with other identifying details. A Jury convicted Defendant D.L.P of 3 counts of First Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct (As a First Degree Felony), 3 counts of Second Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct (As a First Degree Felony), 3 counts of Third Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct (As a Second Degree Felony), Assault with Intent to Commit Criminal Sexual Conduct (As a Third Degree Felony), Aggravated Assault (As a 2nd Degree Felony) and Terrorizing (As a Third Degree Felony). Assistant Attorney Generals L.L and Assistant Attorney General Kat prosecuted the case for the People. They stated following the verdict that “This conviction was made possible by an unprecedented joint investigation involving the Office of the Attorney General, the Police Department, and the Naval Criminal Investigation Service. The superior investigative work of the dedicated members of these agencies went above and beyond the call of duty both before and during trial.” The victim in this case was discovered in the early morning hours of May 27, 2006 at the A. Beach Park. Evidence at trial showed that she had been brutally beaten and suffered among other injuries from internal bleeding and a fractured pelvis. At trial, the victim identified D.L.P. as her attacker in open court. In addition, the government presented DNA evidence which connected the victim and defendant including his semen and her DNA on a pair of boxer shorts found in a trash can on the U.S.S. Military Ship by NCIS personnel. The admittance of DNA evidence at trial followed a Daubert hearing establishing the validity of DNA testing and marked the first time in a number of years that such evidence had been admitted at trial. In addition, the government presented the testimony of Police Officer E. A. who had stopped the defendant in the immediate vicinity of the crime, approximately 1 hour before the victim was discovered at the scene. Officer A. was able to recognize the description of both the defendant and his vehicle which was provided by the victim and allow the Police to quickly locate a suspect and confiscate evidence. This along with the testimony of twenty-four witnesses was presented over the course of the two week trial. The Office of the Attorney General notes that this is a victory for the People in insuring the continued safety of its citizens and the swift prosecution of violent crimes.

3 Hours and still waiting

By the way, this will all be terribly embarassing if I lose this case. Anyway, the jury is still out, wants to hear some testimony replayed and who knows how long this will take to make a decision. I am, as a co-worker gently pointed out yesterday, very much a worrywort, I can worry about pretty much anything if given the opportunity. Everything from where I am going to park my car to what I am going to do with the rest of my life. This whole jury deliberation thing is not helping those tendencies. I do however promise that I will not throw myself into a vat of chocolate regardless of the results. I am just hoping to get the results today. It is remarkably like taking a test where you do not know the outcome and are uncertain that you presented the information in the best manner and just have to sit around until you find out. So, I wait and try to get back to my normal life. In the meantime I keep going to the gym and trying to be patient about this whole process.

You may now resume your regularly scheduled programing

And I'm back. I feel rather like a bad radio announcer on a gameshow or something. Anyway, trial was completed on Friday and today the Jury begins deliberations, I am slightly freaked out about what the result will be, hopefully we will know by early afternoon. I can't say I have had good luck with jury trials, I'm 0-3 so far. Hopefully 4th time will be a charm. Anyway, still going to the gym, eating hasn't been great but it has been alright. I am once again going through my warddrobe and getting rid of all the beat up and worn out pieces of clothing in my closet. The less I have to ship at the end of September, the better. This week I am back to being really good and packing my lunch (roast chicken in case you were wondering). I am starting to lift weights at home again and have discovered that I have not lost any strength there which is an unexpected bonus. Anyway, I have to dash off to court, if we get a verdict later I will post and tell you what the case was about that consumed my life for the past month (I know you all care terribly).

Clearly it is Monday

It is bad when you can tell by 5 am in the morning that it is going to be a bad monday. The people at my gym failed to open it up until 5:20 in the morning. This threw a big ugly monkey wrench into my morning workout since it meant I did not have time to get in my run before spin class or any time for an extra workout afterward. This was especially the case today since I have to go back in on my trial at 8:30 am and that does not leave a lot of leeway in my workout time. Frustrating in the extreme. Anyway, I don't have a lot of time so I am off to court.

One week down

The first week back on plan is always the easiest for me. Well, I am always hungry because I am reducing my calories but I am usually sleeping better because I am not eating nearly as much refined sugar. Plus, I stop feeling guilty about what I am eating and so I am less stressed (well I am stressed about other thing because I am a worrywort but you know what I mean). I did make the executive decision this morning that I would take my workout a little easier today due to yesterday's hard workout. So, I just went to my spinning class and did a bunch of situps rather than adding in weights. I am terribly excited that it is the weekend because it means I get to sleep in tomorrow and clean my apartment. Also, I need to get ready to go back into trial on Monday but mostly I am focused on getting my junk out of the apartment so I am not living in a huge mess. Of course, weekends are usually a problem in terms of food because of all the free time, but maybe spending the day cleaning will prevent that issue.

The number one reason I am leaving my job

Okay, I love what I do most days and I am really sad about leaving my co-workers. However, yesterday I was reminded of why I am leaving and leaving soon. The senior attorneys sent me home at 2:40 pm, so that the head of the office could not locate me. Not because I had done anything wrong but because I had done the right and ethical thing and we knew he would be irate about it. When you have to leave the office because you did your job properly, well it is time to leave the whole situation permanently. On the plus side, it did let me work out my calories better since I could make a smoothie at three p.m with honey and a banana and milk (which I don't usually manage at work). Then I took a nap because this cold is still messing with me. This morning I got dragged to a new class at the gym, basically a circuit training class where you do a round of weights, then step aerobic drills and another round of weights. It was actually a great class, and really made me sweat. I was surprised about how much I liked the class and the instructor (who I always thought was rather annoying). I usually use Thursdays as a rest morning but this was a good addition to my workouts. Of course, by rest I mean that I just do an hour on the eliptical machines.

Feel the love

Aww, I feel loved, it is awful nice to be back. I do feel like I am really back at this point, although completely worn out from job stress. I have six weeks left at this job and more and more I can’t wait to get out of here. Despite the fear of not knowing where I am going next, I am glad to leave this highly unstable environment. Plus I think in the long run it will be much more emotionally (and physically) healthy for me to not be here and to be in a more stable work environment. Plus, I will not have the little annoyance of living on this island. Yesterday, I ended up being at work late and rather than going to the gym I ended up running to the store to buy food. Really, I needed eggs for omelets, but when I got there I discovered that there were only two containers of eggs in the store (and both of them had cracked ones). This was at the largest grocery store on the island. So, after some serious hunting I settled for a container of egg beaters, some meat, and some bananas. It will get me through the week, but seriously people, what grocery store has no eggs? I suppose in fairness they had two container, but I can’t imagine most people buying containers of cracked eggs. This is why it is hard to cook healthy food on this island. Well, you can cook meat but that is about it. Last time I went back to the mainland U.S. I had sensory overload in the grocery store because there was so much food to chose from including all sorts of vegetables. That reminds me, I could not find lemons in the store this weekend, there were oranges and limes but no lemons. I find shopping here so strange sometimes and so difficult that I end up eating the same thing day after day because I can find the ingredients. I am once again going to try to make it to the gym again tonight, I had a good workout this morning but it could always be supplemented. I am still having some breathing issues from this chest cold which have been derailing me. So, if I go it will be very mellow and nothing hard. Especially after this morning where the aerobics room was very warm and the rest of the gym was freezing, I am not trying to make my cold worse. Still, I don’t feel so sickly that I am justified in slacking off on my workouts. Plus, I keep reminding myself to just take little baby steps and stay the course until the stress level dies down.

Still not dead

Well, yesterday went swimmingly (as most first days back do) and I managed to easily stick within my plan. Well, it did involve a lot of mental games with my head where I had to point out to myself that I wanted to fit in my clothing more than I wanted chocolate. Plus, by about 3 pm, the cold I am suffering from had really begun to slow me down and wear me out. Today, I felt better and went to the gym even though I still have this horrible hacking cough. I even brought extra gym clothes with me, the plan being to stop at the gym for 30 minutes after work (thus avoiding the worst part of rush hour which only last for 1 hr) and pick up an extra cardio workout. I am going to change at work and that way I can just dash in and out of the gym since it will be super crowded. Then I am going to head home and colapse. I figure that while I cannot always control my food, I can compensate by adding in extra workouts during the week. I used to get in about two hours of cardio everyday, I would like to get back to that if I can manage it.

The Cosmic Why

Why on the day I finally get myself together and back on plan does tons of bad food appear in the office. Well, I am responsible for the carrot cake muffins, but those don't appeal. However, there are donuts around and chocolate covered macadamia nuts and a few other things. Sigh. However, I don't like how my clothes fit and the easiest way to fix that is to not eat crap and workout more. I am going to lift weights when I get home, and not snack today and just go from that perspective. Oh, and I am avoiding the chocolate covered macadamia nuts but pretending they are not there. So far, it is working.

Did you miss me?

Ahem, right then (carefully taps blog microphone) is this on? Yep, I'm back, and I have an actual explanation for my extended absence and concurrent falling off the wagon. On August 3rd, I began a very complicated felony rape and aggravated assault trial (which is still on going). Trials are tough, and extremely emotionally draining, you never eat or sleep well while you are in trial. Right now, due to scheduling issues we are taking a week break and will resume next Monday however I have worked everyday (except yesterday) since the 4th of August. I have still gone to the gym every morning but food has been crap. Today, I am getting back on track if it kills me, since I know I have been sabotaging my workouts which is silly. I have however come down with a nasty cough and cold which knocked me out yesterday. I went back to the gym this morning and packed my lunch today so that is a start. Anyway, I am back and hopefully won't get derailed this badly again.

Back on island

So, I am back on my small little island after a plane ride of 20 hours. Well, 3 planes actually with two layovers in between and rather a lot of Starbucks Coffee. I am pretty tired still, I woke up at 3:50 am and got to bed at what would have been about 2 am so I was up for probably 22 hours straight. I cannot sleep on planes very well, so I tend to just remain awake and either read or watch movies. This morning I got up at 4:30 and went to the gym for a workout. I felt like a bit of a slacker because I ducked out a bit early so I could go to the store and buy some packaged salads for lunch this week. I also picked up a few other food items which should see me through until this weekend. Work is crazy and hectic right now, but I only have to last a couple more months and that is what is keeping me going. I am happy to be back in a routine that works for me, and hopefully I can stick with it for the next few months.

Blog Slacker

Yep, I am a complete slacker on the whole posting thing this week. I can't say that my exercise has been terribly up to par either. I have managed to get in a walk of about 2+ hours every day but that is about it. I do actually think taking it easy was a good thing for my body which was very tired. Still, next week will probably be a bit painful when I go back to the actual gym and real workouts. I don't have much to report, since I have been on vacation. I have been decent on food, and will be better next week. I have done a bit of shopping and discovered that I am now incredibly picky about clothing. I used to just grab whatever fit and go with that, but now I mull it over. I found myself in the store the other day debating whether or not something "fit into my lifestyle", I don't exactly know how I had that thought. I do know that I need clothes that I can wash and not dry clean since there are not very many good dry cleaners where I currently live. Also, I mostly buy clothes I can wear to work and into a courtroom which means relatively conservative clothing right now. If I did not work in an office which was freezing cold I would probably live in skirts and cardigans, but I do, so this trip I picked up tights hoping that I can now wear my skirts to the office and not freeze to death. Still, I am really picky because now I can be picky which is wonderful. It also reminds me why I spend so much time watching my food intake and working out because I don't want to regress backward. Anyway, vacation is almost over and then I am headed back to work for the last two months of this job before I come home permanently. I am looking forward to that homecoming but not the 20 hour trip back to my small island tomorrow and then the trip in a couple of months back the other way. Such is life.

On the other side of the pond

Hmm, when I am not stressed, I do not eat crap. I realize that this is a truly novel concept for everyone. I am on a brief vacation in the mainlan united states, I head back across the ocean and international dateline on saturday. Thus, I am away from the constant stress of work which is a wonderful thing. This weekend I was at a wedding, and managed to simply eat the salads offered for dinner and a bite (yes one bite) of my father's risoto, and no dessert. I realize that some of my healthiness has to do with better food supplies and a different eating style than my small island, but still it is a huge difference. Exercise is another story, I am going to walk downtown in a bit and shop but I really need to go running. I am going to try and fit that in today, maybe this afternoon since it was just too cold to contemplate this morning. Tonight I may go out to dinner with people I know from my college and that means I should really try and fit in a run despite the fact I have a cut on my foot. I was forced to look at pictures of myself from this wedding, and my only thought was that I need to work out more. I can see the progress made since I started losing weight, but I can also tell that I am not happy with this weight and I need to really get motivated. This week should help me refocus, but I am also going to eat out tonight, wednesday night, and thursday night, at a minimum so I need to exercise. Oddly, I know that I will probably manage to lose weight (I always lose weight on vacation) even though that is when most people gain weight. So, I am going to use that to my advantage. I am off into town now.

The good news and the bad news

The good news is that my knee is better this morning, the bad news is that it is still not 100 percent okay. I stepped on to the treadmill this morning, walked for five minutes and began to run, at which point my right knee and the area around it instantly made it clear that this was an extremely bad idea. So, I stopped and headed for the eliptical machines. I spent about 70 minutes on the eliptical machines and had no problems at all. However, about all that I can say for the workout is that I stepped up the resistence one more notch, it was not terribly difficult. At that point, I headed back to the treadmill to give it one more shot. I then ran for 12 minutes (I slowed my pace down) and covered a distance of one mile. Not the workout I was hoping for but at least my knee felt alright after I was finished with the mile. I also snuck in 100 basic sit ups after I was finished with the cardio. Oh and by the way, seriously people, do I have a sign above my head that says “you can talk this person into taking your exercise class” ? Today, one of the instructors came up to me to tell me I should take her Thursday morning class (which is the only class I do not take at this point). Er, okay. I can’t tell if I have become a gym project (completely possible at my gym) or if I just look like someone who takes classes. I am considering it, but since I will be on a plane next Thursday and off-island for 10 days, it will have to wait for a couple of weeks. I am not that enthused about this particular instructor, I find her to be somewhat pushy and very set in her view of things. Still, I will probably end up taking the class at some point because it could be a good workout. I am currently having yet another debate with myself about switching around the order in which I eat my food to see if anything happens. Basically, I would switch my largest meal to lunch and then eat my salad for dinner. This would probably overall be a better plan, but the main issue is preparation. I would need to cook lunch the night before, or on the weekend and then reheat it at work. Not a huge issue given that a lot of nights I just reheat food anyway. I am going to stick with my current plan until I go on vacation and then reevaluate when I return and maybe rework everything. Still, my real issue today is that I really wanted to get a good run in and my body would simply not cooperate, I needed the stress relief but it was certainly a no win situation. Running would have completely aggravated my knee and then I really would not be able to work out. I logically know this, but it is still frustrating. Oh, and for the record I did wear ballet flats to work today to also aid in the leg recovery.

Oh ow

Ow, remember how I said earlier that my right knee was twinging. Well, really it is actually the back of my right knee and oh is it not happy at all. It is so unhappy that I have taken off my heels and switched to flip flops even though they are not appropriate office attire. I have no idea what I did this morning which aggravated my knee so badly (especially since I backed off the minute it started hurting). In fact, everything that we did in class was things I had done before, so there is no real explanation for the twinging and general pain. I was going to walk somewhere tonight, but I am going to put that off tonight and go home and just rest my leg. I am hoping that it will be better by tomorrow, otherwise I will have to re-evaluate the plan to run in the morning.

A holiday like any other day

Happy Independence Day! Actually July 4th was yesterday, but I was not near a computer. Yesterday was in fact a holiday from work (one of the eight holidays a year). I cannot say that the day was very different (except for the bit where I did not have to come into the office). I rolled out of bed at 4:29 am and headed out to the gym for my step aerobics/spinning class. After class I headed home and had copious amounts of coffee. Then I headed out to the malls and bought exactly one sweater before making it home at about 11:30 am. Lunch was my standard salad, since I packed up five salads for the week, no point in deviating from the eating plan. I will admit that I took a nap in the afternoon (to make up for the early morning wake up). Then, I made up my naan bread mini-pizzas for dinner, which were really excellent, and cooked up a batch of brownies for an office birthday party. I squeezed in 200 sit ups and a pilates video before heading off to bed at around 9 pm. Overall it was a very mellow day which is exactly what I wanted to have in a day off. This morning, I was back at the gym for my hip box class and now I am at work. I did have one issue this morning during class which consisted of a not so subtle inner thigh twinge/cramp in my left leg. Since I am planning on running tomorrow morning, I think I will have to take it a little easy on my afternoon workout and let my legs rest. It was not helped by the extra leg workout that my instructor added in this morning for the additional torture factor. I think my real problem is that I feel like I could always be pushing myself harder, and I have a problem realizing that sometimes I am already doing as much as my body will allow. Could I workout harder, eat a little bit cleaner (and some days a little bit less?) Yes, probably I could manage that if I tried hard. Would I go insane? Yes, I would go completely insane and my co-workers would be within their rights to kill me. So, I keep trying to remind myself that it is all about moderation. I feel I should note that the cramp has now moved to the back of my knee on the right side. This is not a good sign. So, I am just going to do sit ups tonight and skip any intensive stretching. I might lift a few weights if the motivation fairy decides to visit me, but anything with my legs is out of the question. I have no desire to get injured and then have to take time off from working out. I cannot actually imagine taking time off from working out and in order to prevent that I am trying to listen to my body and what it needs very carefully.

Somewhat squishy

I never made it to the gym this weekend, but other than that I was actually very productive which was a good thing. On Saturday I was fairly lazy, but Sunday made up for it. I managed to clean my apartment, scrub the floor with bleach, go through my clothing and get rid of items I am not longer wearing (or have never really worn), go to the grocery store, cook food for the week including the pre-packing of my salad items for the week, and go to the mall (where I did not buy anything). Sadly grocery shopping was once again far more expensive than last week, however I had forgotten that I needed to buy kitty food and litter, not to mention coffee supplies (neither of which are bought on a weekly basis). I figure that stuff added up to an extra 20 dollars that I would otherwise have saved on shopping. This week I decided to branch out a little bit in terms of cooking and try cooking with couscous and whole wheat pasta. I always find these substances a little scary because I do try to limit bread and pasta products in my diet. This is due to the fact that I love them and always eat too much and it is really tempting to just toss the pasta in butter and eat it without vegetables or other good things. However, I am giving it another shot and trying to be really careful with portion size. Also, this is a good reason to stay away from bread/grain products at work because I am eating them for dinner. So, last night I had whole wheat pasta with steak (left over from lunch) and Thai peanut sauce (left over from making salad supplies for the week). It was very yummy and fit in the plan. Tonight I am going to make couscous with roasted chicken, caramelized onions and garlic. I also bought organic naan bread (amazing to find it on island) which will be good if I actually decide to make curry this week. Otherwise I may toast it to make a mini pizza and top it with chicken and feta cheese (actually that sounds really good now I think about it). As part of my weekend prep, I roasted up a bunch of chicken thighs and legs and I am going reuse over the course of the week in a variety of dishes. I also hard boiled some eggs for salads and cleaned out my cupboards so I would have a clear sense of what food products I had in my house. Turning now to the exercise front, I am still on track (other than not going to the gym this weekend). It occurred to me this morning that my exercise schedule is a little bit insane for a normal person. This is the current plan- Mon a.m.- run 1 mile (warm up), 1 hour spin class, 20 minute leg work out with weights, 15 minutes eliptical machine (final cool down). Mon p.m.-30 or 45 minutes pilates or yoga tape, or if unmotivated 200 sit-ups. Tue a.m.-10 min. treadmill walk, 1 hour 30/30 class (30 minutes step aerobics/30 minutes spinning), 10 minutes ab workout. Tue p.m.-30 or 45 minutes pilates or yoga tape, or if unmotivated 200 sit-ups. Wed. a.m.-10 minute treadmill walk, 1 hour hipbox class, 20 minute arm workout with weights, 15 minute eliptical machine (final cooldown). Wed. p.m.-30 or 45 minutes pilates or yoga tape, or if unmotivated 200 sit-ups. Thursday a.m.-30 minute run, 10 minute walk (warm-up and cool down from run), 35 minute eliptical machine, 10 minute treadmill or step machine (final cool down) Thursday p.m-30 or 45 minutes pilates or yoga tape, or if unmotivated 200 sit-ups. Friday a.m.- run 1 mile (warm up), 1 hour spin class, 20 minute leg work out with weights, 15 minutes eliptical machine (final cool down). Friday p.m.-Free Saturday a.m.-ideally (although has not really happened yet) 30 minute run and ab work. Saturday p.m.-Free Sunday-Free day. That could potentially work out to around 10 (or more hours) of exercise every week. Not to mention the fact that most of these are hard exercise sessions. So, I think this demonstrates my current frustration with my lack of progress on the weight loss front right now. However, I know I am in pretty good shape from this routine since running an eleven minute mile is easy for me and I have really good calf muscles (even if the rest of me is somewhat squishy at the moment). However, I do look at this in amazement for two reasons. First, it demonstrates the amount of work that I do to remain a size 12 (or 10 on a good day) and second because this amount of exercise would have been unthinkable in years past. I never miss a weekday at the gym and neither do any of the other regular gym rats for that matter. Even tomorrow morning, I am getting up at 4:30 am to go the gym because (a) it is open and (b) they are still having the aerobics class. Tomorrow is July 4th here and it is a holiday so I do not have to go to work. My theory is that if I get up and go at 5 am then at least one workout for the day will be over and I do not have to worry about it or feel guilty later on in the day. All of this does prove the level of crazy which now exists in my life, but hey, at least it is healthy crazy rather than excessive eating crazy.

Have no motivation but will travel

I have not been feeling particularly motivated either this week or last week. Yet, I am on plan and have not really deviated horribly from plan at all. Further proof that planning is a good thing. It is hard to deviate if you already have a prepackaged lunch salad and dinner is easily accessible in the fridge at home. Plus, I know in the long run I am saving money which is a good thing right now. Anyway, I am fully aware that my lack of motivation focuses on the fact that I have been doing a lot of hard cardiovascular work in the morning and not seeing a lot of results. This is admittedly frustrating so I have been trying to find a way of dealing with it in a healthy non-sabotaging kind of matter. Err, still working on that by the way. However, I am incorporating additional workouts into my schedule on the weekend, I am going to go to the gym again on Saturday and just make Sunday my lazy rest day. Today, if I end up feeling really motivated, I am going to go back to the gym and do an additional 30-60 minute workout. I may end up in court late in which case I will not be very motivated to go to the gym. On the plus side, I managed to talk my body into an actual run this morning (well a thirty minute run on the treadmill). I decided that I would do a slow run at 5.5 mph for 15 minutes before move on to the eliptical machines. Instead, I ended up running for 10 minutes at 5.5. mph then running at 6.0 mph for the next five minutes, then dropping back down to 5.5. mph for the next 5 minutes, then another interval of 6.0 mph for five minutes, and finishing out with 5 minutes at 5.5. mph for a total run of 30 minutes. I have not managed to run in a couple of weeks and I really want to get back running at least twice or three times a week. In fact, this morning I skipped out on an exercise class so that I could run on the treadmill. So, I am going to try and make a point of running on Thursday mornings and Saturday mornings. This effort would be helped immensely by new running shoes but I am going to wait on those until I go back to the mainland U.S. in two weeks. In any event, my brain feels much clearer this morning now that I have done some running. I forget when I do not run for a long time that this is why I run, and why I actually like it as an exercise. I would like it better if I could run outside, but there really is not anywhere around here that it is safe to run because there are no decent sidewalks. I just realized how odd this entry would be to my old self, I am going on and on about how I like working out, and that would certainly have puzzled the 250 lb me. However, it is true, I am a complete gym rat and exercise nut. I think at this point I own more workout clothes than regular clothes and I tend to buy more expensive workout clothes than regular clothes. Frankly, that is a little bit disturbing on some level but hey, this is my life now. One final piece of news to report before I start doing my real job. Last night I discovered that I could actually see indentations on my stomach. Now, I hesitate to call them abs (all though they are in the right location) but I do think they are a result of all the ab workouts that I have been doing over the past month. I think for the record that if we did call them abs they would give me a whopping 1 pack, which would be a first. So, I am pleased about that, and about the fact that if I suck in my breath, I can actually see my rib cage. So, I am trying to go with the non-scale victories, but the frustration level is still there right now. Still, I am doing everything that I can and recognizing that this is going to take time. Apparently, I can gain weight in the blink of an eye but losing it takes a lot longer. Just another indication of the Universe’s cosmic sense of irony.

Monday Check In

Note to self, you are your mother’s daughter even if you spent your teenage years denying it. This means that any caffeine after 2 pm in the afternoon will make it impossible to sleep at night. Now, drinking coffee at 8 pm at night will absolutely make sure that you do not sleep more than 2 hours during the night. It is a great Monday morning, and spin class destroyed me this morning as a result. I am mainlining coffee (more than normal anyway) in a vain attempt to be semi-functional today. This week it is all about preparation, I decided to see if I could make a salad for the week that I am happy with for lunch. So I got all the ingredients, made some home-made dressing, cooked a couple of chicken breasts, and divided everything into individual bags. This way, I just have shred lettuce and dump everything into a portable container the night before and away I go the next morning. Plus, I saved thirty dollars in groceries this week. This is a good thing, because I am going to attempt to save this money and use it for groceries next weekend. If I could cut my grocery bill down from 70 dollars a week to 40 dollars, I would be incredibly happy. Eighteen days from now I am going on vacation for ten days which makes me happy. I have some fitness goals I would like to achieve between now and then, but we will see what happens over that time period. On the plus side, I found a dress to wear to the wedding I am going to while I am on vacation. I do not have shoes to wear (well I do but they are five-inch heels which is a little much). I looked at myself in it, and while I am not really pleased at where I am weight-wise (and I need appropriate undergarments), however I was impressed. I looked grown-up and mature and dare I say it, sophisticated. On occasion I am reminded of how long it takes to get my brain to catch up with my body. It is hard to remember that I am not 240 plus pounds at this point and that in fact I am really 80 pounds less than that in reality. This weekend was a good reminder and I needed that given my frustration with my fitness progress.