Oww

Okay, three days of running in a row is clearly my limit right now. I developed a minor shin splint today which is fortunately fading away as the day progresses. Still, it is a reminder that I can only push my body so far in any given week and I still need to add in some rest time. I also should have worn flats to work but hindsight is 20/20 and I didn't realize how much my leg was aching until I walked on it on the way into work. Everything else is on track, I even avoided the candy bowl when I went to court. I was amused that I spent lunch talking to CA who was ordering a hamburger on her way to a school presentation while I was sitting there eating carrots and hummus. However, I am taking extra hummus to work for her tomorrow because in proof we were separated at birth (of which there are many examples, we even drive the same car) she loves homemade hummus with the same abiding passion that I do and will appreciate it. Anyway, I am off to feed the cats and make lunch for tomorrow.

Running and other thoughts

I have nothing new to report today. I am swamped at work, super important hearing on Friday on a case and so I have just been working on that all week. I am totally on track with food (probably because I like what I am eating) and exercise as well. I am back to having the ability to run a 12 minute mile and now I will begin increasing the amount of time I am running at that speed. I run really slowly anyway but I would like to be running three times a week for at least 20 minutes a day, right now I am only at about 10 minutes. My office is starting to fill with halloween candy for all the children who will be visiting on Friday (we have trick or treating in the office) I am avoiding the candy including the bags in my office. So far, pretending the candy does not exist is working swimmingly and I am not going to bring any of it home with me. Halloween is pretty much just a preview for the rest of the holiday season but my plan is to take one meal off at Christmas and one meal off at Thanksgiving and eat healthy the rest of the time. In the spirit of the holidays, I made myself a low calorie pumpkin smoothie today, it needs to be tweaked but has some serious potential as a tasty low calorie treat ( I think I can get it down to about 100 calories if I try). I am down to one cup of coffee a day and I have replace my need for caffeine with about 3-4 cups of black unsweetened chai tea which has also cut down calories. So, I am happy with where I am today. This is a picture of my furry children (the kitten just walked on my head by the way).

That is a meal not an appetizer

Apparently there was eggnog in the office today. I say apparently because I never saw it other than in a cup on one of my coworker's desks. Thus, I avoided it without even knowing it was there in the first place. I actually went out to lunch today at PF Chang where I had their chicken lettuce wraps which they technically define as an appetizer. I looked up the calories and it works out to about 510 calories total (I had about 2/3). This strikes me as a meal and not as something which proceeds the main course. Most of my meals work out to about 400-450 calories and they involve a fair amount of vegetables and protein. I can only assume in this case that the calories come from the sauce which the chicken is doused in and which is admittedly very tasty. I had a small dinner as a result which seems logical given the calories that I ate at lunch. Other than that, it was a very quiet monday.

Bathing in hummus

Once again it is Sunday and I am trying to get everything made and assembled for the week ahead of me. I am eating some of the same things as last week because I never got around to making them during the week and I had the food in the house. So, I am eating the following. Oatmeal with splenda and cinnamon Blueberry and Mango Smoothies Chicken Stir Fry in a Light Coconut Curry Chicken Cutlets with Orange Apricot Relish Roast Chicken Roasted Red Pepper Hummus (homemade) Carrots Baked Sweet potato fries Pears and bananas I always forget how much better homemade hummus is than what you can buy in the store. Plus it is really easy to make and it keeps for a whole week. I made hummus this afternoon and I would seriously bathe in it if that was presented as an option. It is flavorful, no bitter aftertaste and a much smoother texture than store bought hummus. The hummus is for lunch with the carrots and sweet potato fries everyday. So yummy and it only took five minutes to make. I also baked the sweet potato fries (they are seasoned with cinnamon, garlic powder, and salt. Then I tossed them in olive oil and baked them) and cut up chicken for the stir fry so all that I have to do is toss the chicken in the pan later in the week. I am making the chicken cutlets for dinner and I expect it will last me until midweek when I will make the stir fry. This should be plenty of food for the week and mostly vegetables and protein which is always my goal. I am off to make dinner now.

Finally Friday

I do enjoy fridays and to top everything off, today is pay day and we got our 4 percent increase for the year. I put it directly into my savings account which means I finally have three months of expenses saved in my emergency fund. I will be happier when I have a year saved away but I think that is probably going to take another year for me to get there. My theory on pay raises is basically that all the additional money goes into savings of some sort and I am continuing to live below my means as a result. I spent the last year paying off debt and I am working on avoiding going back there at all costs. Anyway, I am still on track with all my diet and exercise stuff as well, and tomorrow is the last day this week that I actually have to workout. Plus, I get to sleep in until about 7:30 (an extra 2.5 hours) which is very exciting. I have a ton of errands to run this weekend but it is nice to have two days off from work to relax.

No news is good news

I was exhausted this morning but still went to the gym and worked out. I am still totally on plan. I had forgotten how easy this can be sometimes, I just remembered the days where it was difficult. Working out has been a pain this week but it is still getting done and I suppose that is good news. At least tomorrow is Friday, I need it to be the weekend already so I can catch up on my sleep and get organized for next week. I have lots of things that have to get done this weekend and not least is cleaning up my fridge which is pretty messy right now. Anyway, I am off to organize things for tomorrow.

Random musings

My legs are still tired. Tired enough that after a morning of running around like a crazy person I switched over to a pair of flats for the afternoon. I still worked out this morning anyway and I felt much better for the rest of the day as a result. If I can just make it through this week, I think next week will be better in terms of workouts because I will have a real day of rest on Sunday. Well, other than the mad dash I am going to do to the mall this weekend to buy CA's 31st birthday present (I have no idea what I am buying her) before her actual birthday on Monday. This happens every year because I am a slacker on the buying of birthday and christmas presents. In my defense, I know what part of the gift is going to be but I am not sure about the rest of the present. Food and water are still fine by the way, no changes there in anyway. So, I keep on pushing through and so far everything is okay and I actually feel much better overall which is good news. Well, other than my legs.

Ah, afternoon exercise

I hate working out at night. Hate it. I am tired and all I want to do is curl up in front of the tv and chill after a long day. However, I had no choice today because my apartment complex's gym was locked when I went to workout this morning at 4:30 am. Fortunately I got out of court early and as soon as I got home I dragged myself over to the gym. It was an okay but not great workout and it was not helped by the fact that the gym was boiling hot for some reason. Still, I am glad that I did not give into the numerous excuses I came up with over the course of the day to not workout. This is the other reason I exercise in the morning, it is a lot harder to avoid and it gets easier as the day goes along. My legs are still tired but that was not a good reason to skip exercising and they were okay once I got on the machines and warmed up. Anyway, food is totally on plan and I did not feel hungry today, the banana made a big difference in terms of fullness which was good to know when I am planning my lunch.

Long Days Journey

Today was a long day in terms of staying on plan (which I managed by the way). I was starving for no apparent reason, even with my nice 10 am snack and a good sized lunch. I think I may not have had enough food reserves to draw on from Sunday when I did not eat enough food over the course of the day. It could of course be totally unrelated to that and be just my body acting up, really I have no idea. Still, I made it through and no random cookies or cake snuck in to my mouth. Actually, what I really wanted was a piece of fruit and I had left the banana I meant to bring for my afternoon snack at home. Le sigh. I think tomorrow will probably be better, then again this may just be optimism speaking and not reality. My legs are tired today and I think it is because I do not really do a lot of hill work in my regular workouts. Still, I lifted weights, worked out on the eliptical trainer, and did all of my exercise this morning. I figure days like today are just a reminder that this is never going to be easy and I need to keep on pushing through the bad days to get back to the good ones.

Tired as tired can be

I am exhausted and it is Sunday. Partly, I think it is related to the two hours I spent getting to CA's house last night thanks to a major traffic accident on the freeway. Secondly. it is probably related to the hour long hilly walk I did this morning with some people from my office. It was a walk to bring visibility to victims of Domestic Violence but I had not quite anticipated the entire walk being uphill. Still, I know it was good for me and since I am required to do community service, good for that as well. After that I ran to the store and grocery shopped even though I had forgotten my list. That brings me to the list of things I am eating this week: Oatmeal with splenda and cinnamon Blueberry and Mango Smoothies Chicken Curry Stir Fry (made this tonight it is a litte too hot I am hoping it mellow a bit overnight) Chicken Cutlets with Orange Apricot Relish Roast Chicken Corn Sauteed mushrooms Sauteed green beans Mashed Sweet Potatoes Pears I am trying to finish off some food from last week (hence the mashed sweet potatoes) and once again varying my vegetables. The corn was only 69 cents per ear, too good to pass up. I have additional vegetables as well in case I get bored with these options for some unknown reason. I continue to make progress weight wise and I am still making all my workouts so that is the good news. I also notice that I am not trying to eat everything which is not nailed down so I think that is progress as well.

Friday Check-In

This morning when I headed to the gym, I discovered that my apartment complex had put up caution tape. I considered not messing with it but then I realized someone else was already using the gym so I just ducked under the tape and headed inside. It was nice to feel like the excuse was less important than the exercise. There was more cake at work today, I avoided it again. CA and I spent most of the afternoon hanging halloween decorations and not doing work. Then again no one in my division got any work done today, well except for the people who had to pick a jury. I'm still totally on plan with my eating and I am getting enough water as well. First thing tomorrow I am going to go work out and get it over so that I am done for the week. I might go do a walk for crime victims on Sunday so that will be extra exercise if I make it there early Sunday morning. We will see how the weekend goes overall.

A minefield of food

Work was a minefield of food today. It was boss's day so all of the support staff and secretaries brought food to work. There was everything from chocolate cake to queso and chips. I had a pear which was yummy. My staff made sure they brought fruit because they know I am not eating sugar or bread right now. My secretary brought me this beautiful bouquet of pink rose which I left in my office only because I know the cats would try and eat it. I have to say, there is a lot to be said for not eating any of the office goodies, I did not end up with guilt or a tummy ache (the usually result of such events). Really, I can be very zen about food when I am on track and happy with my food. I came home and had a low cal blueberry smoothie (soy milk, blueberries, splenda, and 6 oz of low fat yogurt) for desert along with my pork chop and was perfectly satisfied. I think that basically as long as I don't start eating bad food I will be fine. I am going to CA's on saturday and she is making chicken fajitas so that I can skip the tortillas and just have the veggies and chicken. I am not against ever eating bread products but I know it is a real trigger for me and leads to the eating of lots of bad stuff so I am avoiding it as much as possible. So, today was a good day.

Happiness is a warm kitten

I'm not going to watch the presidential debate tonight, I've already made up my mind and I would much rather sit here with the kitten sleeping next to me on my printer (much less stressful). The kitten loves the computer more than anything else in the apartment. I am on track with food again and exercise. I am working my way back to running at full speed (which for me is about a 11 minute mile, I am at a 12.5 minute mile right now) and for an extended period of time. It is nice to feel like I am making progress and not feeling tempted by sugar or bad dietary food and sugars. I am not missing bread at all and I feel like I am eating a lot of healthy tasty food. So, all things considered I am doing well and at peace with my decisions. I feel no need tonight to mess that up by obsessing about the state of our country.

The dreaded Green Tea Frappuccino

So, CA totally had a momentary brain lapse today and brought me a grande Starbucks Green Tea Frappuccino after lunch today. I told her that much as I loved her it was not on my diet and then after she left the room I chucked in in the trash. I just looked it up now and that sucker was 490 calories, which is 70 calories more than I just ate for dinner. Good lord, no wonder I've gained weight and for that matter most Americans are overweight. These are the calories no one ever really thinks about because they are hidden in a drink. Now, I am not against the occasional frappucino providing you have it is lieu of a meal but that was not an option for me because I had already eaten lunch. Besides, I gave up sugar on a pretty much permanent basis unless I am using it to cook something and then only in small quantities. I will never be able to really add it back into my diet on a permanent basis because I am not good at limiting it when I do eat it (this is the same problem I have with bread products). I feel guilty that CA spent the money but ultimately I cannot really control what other people do or what food they offer me, only my reaction to it. I also avoided the cinnamon bun I was offered this morning by the court staff when I was over doing hearings. I've said this before, but I really don't think people mind if you say no and that it is not on your diet. The longer I do this, the easier it gets and I just have to remember that fact. Besides, willpower only has to exist in small amounts, if I say no in the moment and get rid of the food and move on, I do not have a problem and I avoid the guilt of having eating the food later. It helps that I am eating really good tasty food this time around and I do not feel deprived, I think that has made a huge difference overall in my ability to stay on track.

Why Mondays suck and other thoughts

So, last night at about 2:30 am, an ambulance decided to sit itself right outside my apartment complex for 10 minutes or so. Okay it probably was not 10 minutes but you get the point. When you know you are getting up in approximately 2 hours, it makes it impossible to fall back to sleep. Needless to say I was not a happy camper when I hauled my rear out of bed and headed for the gym. I did have a decent workout which is a bonus, a rather unexpected one at that given my exhaustion. However, I can feel the sleepiness setting in already and it is on 6:45 p.m. I will be lucky if I make it to 8 p.m. tonight. It was not helped by a long day at work and the fact that I knew I had to come home, lift weights, and actually cook dinner. I made my pork chop dish which is quite tasty, I like it. I did however have to cut about a third off my pork chop because it was clearly more than one serving. I desperately need a food scale but for now I am estimating with the palm of my hand which is about the right size for a piece of protein. I have enough pork chops for the entire week but I will probably mix it up with a stir fry about midweek so that I have a good variety of dishes. It is a good thing that my parents taught me how to cook well or I don't know how I would manage to eat healthy on a regular basis.

Sunday Menu

As per my routine, I am checking in with the menu for the week. I tried to buy less food then last week but I do not think I really succeeded in that regard. I ended up throwing out leftovers before I went to the store this morning (chicken and tomato soup to be precise) because they smelled a little bit off. Anyway, all my precooking for the week is done. I am eating the following: Oatmeal with light soy milk, cinnamon, and splenda Chicken and vegetable stir fry in light coconut curry sauce Pork chops in light apple cream sauce Green beans with garlic and lemon sauce Light Mashed sweet potatoes with ginger Brown rice Chicken lettuce wraps Blueberry and Mango smoothies Assorted fresh fruit Roast chicken The mashed sweet potatoes and green beans are my lunch vegetables, I take them along with a piece of roast chicken and fruit for snacks. My goal is to eat at least one different vegetable every week so I do not get bored. Since the only vegetable I really have issues with is eggplant (I do not like the texture) that leaves a broad range to sample from in the grocery store. I have to say, the green beans and mashed sweet potatoes were super easy to make, less than an hour for both. I am hopeful that the pork chops will also be fast to cook tomorrow night. I was thinking today, that it is funny how much I can cook with relatively minimal equipment. In my kitchen I have the following: 1 big pot, 1 medium size pot, 2 small ones, 1 large sauce pan, 1 small saucepan, a garlic press, 3 knives, measuring spoons and cups, a blender, a food processor, and a can opener. Oh, and some cookie sheets, a spatula, 1 wooden spoon, and a medium sized mixing bowl. Nine times out of ten that is more than enough to make anything I want to cook for myself. I should probably invest in a good thermometer but I have never gotten around to it. I probably make most meals using one pot and a knife, so really you do not need a lot of equipment to make a good meal. All you need is the time and energy to prepare it which is why I do so much cooking on Sunday when I have both in abundance.

Saturday Report

On a non food or workout note, I went out shopping today because I needed a couple of long sleeve shirts now that it is not 103 degrees outside but rather a tolerable 80 degrees. I discovered quickly that the mall was having a fire sale, everywhere was having 50 percent off sales. I managed to get four shirts and a jacket at the Gap for about 80 dollars which given their normal prices is frankly ridiculous. I was quite pleased with myself. Prior to going to the mall I dragged my butt to the gym and did my cardio workout. The problem with the weekend is that I have no real desire to work out or be productive, however I am sticking religiously to working out six days a week so it had to be done. I felt a lot better once I was there and actually working out as is so often the case. I have also done my laundry and a bunch of other stuff because working out makes me far more productive than I would otherwise be on a weekend. I have to figure out what I am eating this week and clean up a bit as well. The weight is coming off again for the first time in a long time, amazing what healthy eating and working out will do for a person. Anyway, I am off to fold the last load of laundry and wash up the dinner dishes ( I had brown rice and stir fry, very tasty).

All kinds of awesomeness

Yes mother, I know awesomeness is not really a correct word but I am using it anyway. So tonight, I made the stir fry that I have put off making all week (mostly because it involved peeling the shells off a lot of shrimp) and it was really good. Broccoli, carrots, snap peas, garlic, and shrimp in a light coconut curry sauce. Yummy, and other than the shrimp incredibly quick to cook. I figure I have enough leftovers for about 2-3 meals this weekend. Then I had a mango smoothie because I had a light lunch (fruit salad and chicken with CA) and had a fair amount of calories left over. CA told me that I was fueling my body not eating a meal although she did not have much room to talk given her meal was a green salad and a piece of fish. I did manage to get in three weight workouts this week and providing I work out tomorrow morning I will have managed six cardio workouts for the week. I have to admit, I am never really going to enjoy getting up at 4:20 a.m. and heading to the gym for 45 minutes but it is my saving grace because that way it is done by the time I get to work in the morning. I would never workout if I went to the gym in the evening because I would just slack off and find excuses to not walk out the door. I am pleased that I have stayed on track for the past three weeks, it is making a real difference in my energy level and mood over all. Exercise and eating right, the best mood altering substance ever invented.

Eating out and saying no

I went out to lunch today with CA and our unit's newest lawyer NA. NA wanted to go to Olive Garden so off we went to eat. After perusing the menu for about 10 minutes, I came to a simple realization. There was one thing on the menu which did not involve pasta or bread. One thing, Venetian Apricot Chicken with vegetables. So, I had that, it was tasty but also slightly frustrating. It is hard to go out and find healthy menu items. As it was, there was far too much sauce on the plate, I could have done with about half as much. It was actually healthy and not terribly caloric but still, only one thing on the menu. NA and CA had pasta, but I was not really interested in eating anything with pasta. This is part of the zen of eating I get into once I detox from sugar and flour, I stop having constant cravings for them. It usually takes between 2 and 3 weeks for that to actually happen and stick. I think my new goal is to not deviate from this eating plan unless it is a major holiday or birthday celebration and maybe not even on those occasions. I have discovered that people do not really mind if you say no and refuse food as long as they understand the reason behind the refusal. There is a lot of understanding for answers like "no I can't eat that, sugar makes me feel bad" as opposed to a straight out no. I am working on saying no more. I also realize that this blog is very much about food, probably because exercise is less of an issue for me, yes I am working out everyday and not slacking but food has always been a much bigger hurdle. I think I am finally begin to learn how to manage it after all this time and that is a good thing in my life.

Midweek checkin

Thank goodness the week is on the downhill slide, it has been crazy busy around here for the past few days. Fortunately, working out and healthy eating has not been a problem. Really, I can do this when I try and pre-plan. It is all about preparation and what is in my house. Tonight's dinner was not that exciting but it was healthy, chicken with a little bit of pesto sauce (about a tablespoon) and a piece of reduced fat cheese and a mango shake. It was sort of an attempt at a chicken pesto sandwich without the bread. I had veggies at lunch so I do not feel guilty about the lack of veggies at dinner. Tomorrow will probably be a stir fry in an attempt to cook the remaining shrimp in my fridge. I am also working out everyday and I've done two out of three strength training workouts for the week. So far so good, hopefully it will translate into some good results on the scale.

Green, green, and more green

I realized after I made dinner tonight that the entire meal was pretty much bright green. Well, except for the shrimp but they were covered in green. I made spinach with a little butter and garlic along with shrimp in a basil pesto sauce. All bright green and extremely tasty. Frankly, I could have probably made the spinach without butter but I did not realize that until after I had cooked it. Still, it fulfilled one of my goals in terms of eating. I am trying to make sure that I eat a lot of vegetable, especially dark leafy green ones (such as spinach). Basically, I am aiming for five servings of fruits and vegetables everyday, and mostly hitting that goal. It goes along with an attempt to stick mostly to proteins such as chicken, seafood, and turkey rather than red meat. I think it will help me have a better diet in the long run. I also managed a good workout this morning so week three is going pretty well.

Keep on keeping on

I am still one hundred percent on plan. It is a bloody miracle. I work in a high stress job and a lot of days get very difficult and draining emotionally. Today was not one of those days but tomorrow probably will be for a lot of different reasons. I have always used food to cope and more and more I am trying to work at finding alternate methods to deal with the stress. I have not been terribly successful but I am trying and working on finding balance. The cats are actually part of that balance, there is a lot to be said to coming home everyday to unconditional love and acceptance. I also think that really working out has been making a real difference with my stress level recently. I have also noticed that cutting out milk, sugar, and bread really seems to help me sleep at night and have more energy. In fact, I have noticed a huge spike in my energy level since I cut out the sugar and bread especially. I am down to two cups of coffee a day, one in the morning and one decaf cup at night and no starbucks on the weekends. I am drinking way more water, between 8 and 12 cups a day which is helping my skin as well. All of this is things that have happened in the past when I ate clean, I have just forgotten what it feels and looks like in reality. The difference this time is that I am really paring it with healthy clean eating rather than extreme portion control. The thing about eating properly and cutting out bread is that you can actually eat a lot of food and not consume a lot of calories. I aim for around 1400-1600 calories a day and a lot of times I end up around 1350 even after having two snacks, a healthy lunch and a healthy dinner. I do not feel deprived and that is really important for my personal sanity given my general work stress level. So, I am doing well and that feels good.

Shopping the perimeter

Sunday is always about food for me, always. I am a creature of habit and so on Sunday mornings I get up at about seven a.m. (right now my teenage self is shuddering at the thought) and potter around emptying trash cans and cleaning until about eight a.m. I haul the garbage out to the main dumpster at my apartment complex and I head off to the grocery store. I like shopping early because I avoid the crowds (although you would be surprised at how many people are at the store by then) and can spend my time picking through vegetables and still get home before nine a.m. Now that I am back on my healthy lifestyle I work very hard at only shopping the perimeter of the store. The concept is simple, all fresh products (i.e. veggies, fruit, dairy, and meat) are around the edge of the store while all processed, frozen, and canned foods are generally housed in the central aisles. So, if you stick to the perimeter as a general rule you are buying unprocessed healthy food. I bought a ton of food today, but only managed to spend about eighty five dollars which is really good for me. Mostly I bought produce, red lettuce, onions, yams, asparagus, spinach, stir fry vegetables, garlic, pears, plums, basil, and bananas. This will make a ton of things this week (and yes I eat a lot of yams, they are comfort food while also being really good for you). In terms of other food, I bought parmesan cheese, pine nuts, shrimp, chicken thighs, light coconut milk, oatmeal, light soy milk, and frozen mangos. As you can see, almost everything with the exception of the frozen fruit, coconut milk, and oatmeal came from the perimeter of the store. I did not buy any whole grains because I still have half a bag of brown rice and an entire box of couscous. I also have a ton of tomato soup left from last week which I need to eat this week. Last week, I ate everything I said that I was going to week and still ended up with a lot of food left over. This is a constant problem for me, cooking for one person is a process which tends to create a lot of extra food which I may or may not eat. However, I would rather have options and throw some food away than eat a really limited diet. This week is all about shrimp for dinner, the chicken is for lunch everyday. So I am planning on eating the following depending on my mood. Shrimp with light garlic lemon cream sauce Shrimp with basil pesto Roast yams Roast chicken thighs Roast onions Spinach with garlic Asparagus with garlic lemon cream sauce Shrimp Stir fry with light coconut curry sauce and brown rice Tomato soup Mango smoothies Oatmeal with cinnamon and soy milk (breakfast everyday) So far today, I have roasted the chicken thighs and I still need to do the onions and yams. The yams are already cut up and ready to go when I feel motivated to cook them. When I roast things, whether it is vegetables or meat, I tend to generally just liberally salt and pepper them and avoid a lot of other spices, that way they form a nice base for other dishes. I also roast everything in batches, preferably with similar types of vegetables so that they will cook at the same rate. I find roast vegetables last about a week in the refrigerator and the same is true of roast chicken. The shrimp I will cook in small batches throughout the week (although you can also cook it in advance), because it only takes a couple of minutes to cook. This at least is the plan right now for the week.

TGIS

Ah, I love the weekend. Thursday was a long day, so much so that I accidentally slept in on Friday morning and ended up running to workout at five am rather than 4:30 am. Still, that was a victory in a small way because for a long time I have been skipping workouts when I oversleep. On Friday afternoon, I ended up leaving work a little early to drive out to my friend's house to pick up my cats. I then had about an hour drive home in rush hour traffic, not pleasant. However, the cats are home and my apartment feels normal again for the first time in a few days. Today, I have been out shopping to buy a pair of sunglasses to replace the ones I broke on Thursday afternoon. After I came home from shopping, I dragged myself over to the gym to workout for about 45 minutes on the treadmill and eliptical machine. I realize some people find it easier to workout on weekends but I have always found it much harder because I do not have a set schedule in which I workout or anyplace that I have to be, so I tend to slack off. However, I have managed it the last two weeks which is good. Now I just have to do laundry and cleanup a bit so my apartment looks neat and tidy right after I finish the awesome blueberry smoothie that I made for lunch with light yogurt and soy milk.

I hate Wednesday and other thoughts

Wednesday is always the worst day for working out in my opinion. It is dead smack in the middle of the week, you still have three more days to go (in terms of workouts) and your body is tired. I did go this morning and do my 45 minutes on the eliptical but I so did not want to be there and working out. My legs are sore and it is a little bit like moving through sand at this point. I need to lift weights, I can't say it is high on my list of priorities at this precise moment in time but I will get there at some point tonight. I spent all of work today interviewing witnesses for a really big case which may or may not go to trial. My brain hurts and I miss my cats (apparently they are fine other than hissing at CA's cats). The house is really quiet without anybody else here. Fortunately, there is nothing bad to snack on because I removed it from the house last week. Anyway, I am off to muster up the enthusiasm to lift weights and do some core fitness stuff.

Chicken Lettuce Wraps

My cats have gone to CA's house for three days because they are doing work in my apartment. It is awfully quiet and lonely without them, but at least I can use the computer in peace. They come back on Friday night by which time the workmen will be done with whatever it is my apartment complex has decided needs to be done. I am still on track, I did actually manage to lift some weights last night which was good. I am actually eating everything that I said I was going to eat this week in some configuration or another. Tonight I have chicken lettuce wraps which were awesomely tasty and very simple. The recipe is as follows: 1-2 roast chicken thighs per person (1 makes a light meal, that is what I had tonight, 2 would make a pretty substantial meal) Mixed thinly sliced vegetables of your choice ( my grocery sells baggies of pre-sliced plain veggies for coleslaw which I use because I do not have to prepare them) At least 3 large lettuce leaves per chicken thigh 1 tbsp reduce fat peanut butter 1 tbsp toasted sesame oil 1 tsp Soy Sauce Red Pepper flakes (to taste depending on how hot you like things) Pinch salt Heat the peanut butter for one minute in the microwave and combine with sesame oil, soy sauce, red pepper, and salt. Slice the chicken up and place on lettuce leaves and mound veggies on top. Pour peanut butter mixture over whole thing. Roll up the lettuce leaves and enjoy. Tasty, reasonably low in calories (frankly most of the calories are in the oil and peanut butter) and five minutes to prepare. This is why I need to cook things in advance so I can throw quick meals together like this, a good lesson for the future.

Monday Check-in

I am on track today with exercise and food. I think I will finish at about 1400 calories for the day which is just about right. I can't write much because my youngest cat is obsessed with the computer screen and is trying to attack it right now. Oddly she just became obsessed this last weekend with it and now I can barely type because she is walking all over the keyboard. This morning I ran for about 10 minutes and then got on the eliptical machine for 35 minutes, which worked up a good sweat. I need to go and lift weights now and do some core fitness which I have been slacking on for awhile now. So, I am going to do that before my cat destroys the vicious computer screen.

What I did today

This is the problem with clean eating, it is a lot of work. So far today, I have been to the grocery store (spent an hour buying everything I needed) where I spent $100 on food which was better than I anticipated. That is actually the amount I budget for food every week. Came home, made cream of tomato soup which I spilled all over the place while trying to puree it. However, very tasty and I made enough for about eight meals. I chopped up a bunch of vegetables I am going to roast this afternoon (potatoes, yams, squash, red peppers, and onions). I also roasted about eight pieces of chicken and stored them away in their container for the week. I still need to roast the veggies, cook some brown rice to store for the week, and clean up. It is now 2 in the afternoon and I started cooking at 11 am. I am taking a break for about an hour and then I will roast the veggies which will probably set off the smoke alarm (always happens when I cook things in the oven at 400 degrees or above). The veggies will then be stored away for the week as well. I know that doing all of this today means that I will not have to do much cooking during the week, but it is such a long process for a sunday and I like cooking. Still, this means I will have a bunch of meals with no white flour, bread or pasta involved which I can mix and match. This week I am eating the following: Couscous with saffron, almonds, and raisins (made it last night super easy to do) Oatmeal with soy milk, splenda, and cinnamon (breakfast obviously) Roast chicken and roasted vegetables Cream of Tomato Soup and brown rice Chicken Lettuce Wraps Turkey Lettuce Wraps with cranberry sauce and honey mustard Roast chicken with brown rice and roasted red peppers Roasted winter vegetables and brown rice Most of this menu is from the Best Light Recipes book from the publishers of Cooks Illustrated, I love all of their cookbooks and use them all the time. Some of the dishes are things I have made forever (i.e. the turkey wraps) and I am just bringing them back into my diet, others (i.e. the chicken lettuce wraps) I am making up on the fly by mixing the roast chicken with vegetables. I also have fruit and light yogurt for snacks. I also have some organic soups that I can just heat if necessary one night. Anyway, I guess it is back to the kitchen now.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha

I am working very hard on being present in my life and in this journey. In certain ways that just translates to being aware of what I am doing in my life, and with the food I eat. In the end it always comes down to food for me. I eat incredibly fast to the point of almost inhaling food sometimes and it means my body does not have time to catch up and register whether or not it is full. Thus I am making a choice to try and slow down when I am eating and to pause to allow that reflex to happen and catch up. I am focusing on making sure that I am not depriving myself and eating when I am actually hungry. I had two cups of couscous tonight for dinner rather than one, but I only ate the second one after taking a 10 minute break to make sure I was really hungry. Oh and I still ended up at 1400 calories for the day which is well within my target range for the day. I am concentrating on eating rather than drinking my calories which means no more venti green tea frappuccinos at Starbucks much as I love them. I just cannot see having something which will not make me feel full and will take 650 calories out of my day. Besides I am cutting back on all things coffee related for awhile. Not cutting out, just cutting down. I only like coffee with stuff in it and that means that calories can add up quickly. I am not doing this primarily by cutting calories, I don't want it to be about that, but rather about eating things that are good for me. Mostly this is about eating really cleanly and enjoying the food. I am a foodie at heart, and it is hard when you are only cooking for one person but I am trying to come up with ways to make meals that will morph into other meals and really allow me to experiment with cooking healthy. It is all part of the choice to make my health a priority again and to find balance in my life.

My secret stash

I know what you are thinking, she is going to talk about chocolate now. No, not that kind of secret stash. In my ottoman (small apartment, I have lots of hidden storage), I have a small collection of fitness dvd's. They are the workouts of last resort, saved for when going to the gym is too much trouble and I can't be bothered to get dressed to workout. Today, I pulled out one (basically a cardio dance dvd) and did that for an hour. I don't think I did most of the moves right, I am not terribly coordinated, but it was a workout nonetheless. My goal was six days of cardio this week and I finally accomplished that because of the secret stash. I am also still doing well on eating and usually weekends are where that totally falls apart because I cannot be bothered to eat healthy food. Tonight, I am going to make couscous with raisins and almonds because I have all the ingredients in my pantry and tomorrow I will make tomato soup, roast vegetables, roast chicken, and brown rice for the week. I am going for variety in my diet and that involves a fair amount of weekend food preparation so that I can avoid most cooking during the week because the last thing I want to do is cook when I am tired. So, I am pleased with the progress I have made this week and working on keeping it up this coming week.

Things that annoy me

I have a number of close friends I love, no really, I adore them. I may, however, be forced to kill them. I spent all of lunch listening to a discussion by two of them about how tiny they used to be in high school and college. I very politely told them to bite me, an excellent use of that very expensive education I am still paying off. I was at best, a size 18 in high school, by then end of college I had ballooned up to a size 24 and I pretty much bounced between size 18 to 24 until I was 27 years old. While I am not the skinniest I have ever been by a long shot right now, I am still smaller than I have been for most of my adult life. I have no basis to have that conversation, no idea what that would have been like to be thin at a time it really mattered socially. I will probably really never be skinny, I am just aiming for healthy and a size that I can live with over the long run. I have no idea what that size is, but I will figure it out, and it will be harder for me than it will be for my friends who are trying to lose 20 lbs or so. I will have to monitor absolutely everything I put in my mouth, work out six days a week, and almost never deviate from my plan. I am not complaining, this is just the reality of the body that I have and the relationship I have developed with food over the course of my life. I love them, but they will never know what that road is really like, which makes some days more difficult than others. In better news, I have five really good workouts under my belt this week, and no food flops even with eating out two days this week. I had salad both times and light dinners to balance the meals out. So, one week down, the rest of my life to go.

Once more with feeling

So, I am back. Again. I have not blogged in very long time, I think it has been about eight months. Yeah, that was not a good plan. Not blogging meant no accountability and that is never good for me. I have not been a total slacker, food has not been a total disaster, but it has not been good either. So, it is time to suck it up and really work at this again. In a new development, I will have a live companion in the weight loss arena, one of my close friends is also trying to lose weight and eat healthy so we are helping each other out. Also known as the make sure CA and Kat don't eat crap and actually workout plan. A novel concept, I know but one I am going to stick to this time. I am doing this a little differently this time around, I am concentrating more on making and preparing my own food than in the past, and eating in a sustainable manner for me. Basically, I am working on cooking enough food on the weekend to make different meals throughout the week, and cutting out food which triggers my overeating tendencies. I am forced to admit that at this late date in my life, there are things that I can never eat without triggering some kind of excessive consumption. I like food, food is my drug, always has been and always will be, and while I can tell when I am hungry, I have never been able to successfully gauge when I am full. I am still working on that on a daily basis, it is better than it was but not great. So, for me it means the following, no bread, pasta, white flour, refined white sugar, and as few processed foods as possible. This weekend is all about cleaning out my fridge and refilling it with homemade soups, roasted vegetables, fruit, and chicken. I call this my temple food, a term I stole from Nigela Lawson and by that I mean foods which cleanse and restore my body. It is not going to be easy but I know it will make a real difference in the next few weeks. I know I will feel better if I do this, it is not about deprivation it is about balance which I desperately need in terms of my food choices. I am not being quite as crazy on the exercise as I have been in the past, I am going to workout for 45 minutes a day, hopefully six days a week but I am not going to kill myself right now. I am going to go get a personal trainer to teach me how to workout smarter, and for additional motivation. CA and I are going to try and squeeze in some lunchtime cardio sessions if we can, it won't be possible all that often but it is worth a shot. Mostly, I am going to be kind to my body and myself, by accepting my limitations in terms of time and energy. This is less and less about an ultimate goal and more about feeling comfortable where I am, I miss that feeling and it is time to get back to it. Wish me luck, no doubt I will need it over the next few months.

Stressed? Who me?

Well, eating at dinner left a little to be desired tonight. Apparently, I am going to jury trial on Friday, crap. I could feel the stress and I know I ate too much at dinner, fortunately it was pretty healthy food. Still, not good. It probably did not help that I ate my lunch at 10:45 am and then did not eat until dinner. Not a good plan. It is also a sign of how insidious all the cultural messages about weight are, that my first thought was "I can't go to trial, I'm fat and I have nothing to wear". Frankly, I am not that fat, I know this logically but logic does not always win in these situations. Also, most juries don't make decisions based solely on the weights of the respective lawyers who are involved in the case. I do need to buy clothing, however, but that is more because I have been putting off buying clothing for the last 6 months because I have been aggressively paying down my credit card debit. So, I found something to wear on Friday, and I on Saturday I will have to suck it up and go and buy a couple more suits (especially since I have trial next week as well). Possibly I should also cut my hair this weekend (I am wearing it up on Friday). On the plus side, I did manage to run this morning although my body was exhausted. I am going to go and do some yoga stretching now and see if that helps my stress levels enough that I can get a decent nights sleep. Ah, the joys of being a trial attorney.

Random Work Blog Post

I wrote this at work during lunch on a piece of paper and am now posting it from home. Then I went back to doing work after a fifteen minute break. It is a long week for just being Monday. Somehow today, a piece of cake magically showed up on my desk. Magically I tell you. Perhaps my office has cake elves. I turned around and there it was sitting on the middle of my desk with a fork sticking up out of it. A simple yet deadly piece of white grocery store cake covered in pink and white frosting. So, because I am a little bit strange, I sniffed it and then tossed it in my trash can, I'm long past the days of reaching into trash cans for food (and yes that is something I used to do). The cake did not actually smell good, in fact all I could smell was sugar, so I probably did not miss out on any great taste sensation. It did, however, silently mock me from the trash can for the rest of the day, but I'd rather have mocking than food regret later on in the day. I suspect that drinking 32 ounces of water by 10 am helped me avoid the cake eating. I was not terribly hungry. I also had a low fat bran muffin to snack on which no doubt helped as well. I am trying to eat five slightly smaller meals every day, largely to preven myself from crashing late in the day and reaching for sugary snacks. I am aiming for between 1400 and 1600 calories every single day (approximately) consisting of as little processed food as possible. This is due to my continuing attempts to workout in the evening as well as the morning. I figure that any less than 1400 calories will cause me to become completely insane. I am working my way through 64 ounces of water today as well. 32 ounces of water in the morning and 32 ounces in the afternoon. I am now religiously taking a nalgene bottle to work and refilling it at lunchtime which more water. This won't work on days I have court and cannot sit around drinking water, but I am trying as much as possible to drink my 8 glasses of water a day. There ends my work post. A few updates as it were, I managed to finish my 64 ounces of water by 2 pm in the afternoon. I figure that I drank closed to 96 ounces today with the water I had after my workouts and with dinner. As my brother would say "hydrate or die", okay he would also say "don't stick your fingers in a camel's mouth" but that seems slightly less relevant. I did manage my afternoon workout, another 30 minutes on an eliptical machine plus 60 situps and a weight workout for my arms. I am going to feel that tomorrow and not like myself very much. Anyway, I have to go make my lunch, and get everything set for tomorrow so that I can just grab it and go at 6:30 am when I leave the house.

The week of suckage

Last week was ridiculously long (and it was only a four day week) and sucky. Mostly due to work stuff which I cannot discuss because of confidentiality issues. However, it is over (although this week is not looking good either) and I am moving on with my life. I only made one night workout as a result of last week. However, food was pretty good overall and I managed to run 4 out out of 6 workouts which was pretty good. This weekend has been all about cooking, so far I have made spicy chicken skewers, pumpkin soup, low fat bran muffins, and turkey chili. I still have leftovers from last week so my goal of filling the house with lots of healthy easy to prepare food is working. I also worked out this morning so that is one more thing off my list for the day. I am thinking of making a bean dip as a snack for the week and then I will be done with cooking. The universe has decreed that I should stick with the healthy eating thing as well. This morning, I went to Barnes and Noble and stopped to get a Cinnamon Dolce Latte at the bookstore coffee shop and they ended up only having the sugar-free version, which is what I ended up buying. It was my splurge meal for the week so I had not planned to have the sugar free version but it probably saved me about 400 calories so it worked out in the long run. Hopefully all this healthy eating will really start making a difference soon, I do feel better but hopefully I will see a physical difference soon as well. Anyway, I am off to check on my laundry and finish cooking for the week.

Happy MLK Day

I am quite pleased with myself today, dare I say slightly smug. I actually managed two workouts today which is impressive because I have the day off and was thus inclined to slack off. It worked out to about 1.5 hours of cardio which included a 20 minute jog. I have created a workout chart on the refridgerator as a way of motivating myself to get in the extra workouts. I am aiming for 3 night workouts this week and I think that is workable because I have been working out in the evening on Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway. I have also passed the halfway mark in paying off my credit card bill which is terribly exciting as well. So life is good, however I have to run because my cat is attempting to get into one of the cabinets and I believe it is the one with the christmas decorations which she tends to destroy. So, off I go to prevent any destruction from occurring.

Weekend cooking roundup

Sundays are generally the days I cook for the entire week, mostly because I do all my shopping on Sunday morning. So, right now, bubbling away on the stove is a batch of beef chili with black beans. The recipe made so much that I had to divide it into two pots in order to prevent spillage. Most of the chili is going to be frozen for meals over the course of the week and possibly over next week. I may save out some for dinner tonight. I am also going to make more pumpkin soup and roast carrots as well. I will say, that the chili is not something I would try to make during the week, it requires about 2.5 hours of cooking time and a fair amount of prep work in terms of chopping up vegetables and so forth. However, the fact that it is a well balanced meal and freezes well makes it a good dietary choice for me. Not to mention the fact that given the amount of spices in it, you will totally clean out your sinuses as well. I am all about easy to prepare items which I can just microwave or reheat on the stove. I did workout today, however there was no running because the treadmills were packed. I settled for using the eliptical machine and if I feel really motivated, I will go back tonight. Otherwise I will do core work and situps. I am working on increasing the amount of time that I work out on weekends, but it is still a triumph that I am working out on weekends at all because for a long time that was something that I was not prepared to include in my day. Baby steps, and so far the baby steps are working.

On track

I have now published more posts in 2008 than I did in all of 2007, now that is depressing. I am remarkably still on track, even with the evening workouts. This evening I dragged my butt to the gym for a second workout and managed a 20 minute run. I even have managed to run in the mornings for about 15 minutes. If you add that to the 35 minute eliptical workout each morning and a 10 minute warm up/cool down period, this is the most cardio I have done in a long time. I really did not want to workout tonight, there was an accident on the freeway and instead of a 10 minute commute, it turned into a 35 minute commute (yes I know I have it easy). By the time I got home and dealt with all of my bills, working out was not high on the list of priorities. However, I dragged myself over to the gym and workout anyway. Really, getting there is three quarters of the battle, and frankly it is all mental (although my legs will be tired tomorrow). I spend most of my time talking myself into doing things and actually doing them takes only a little bit of effort. So, I am pleased with myself today. I am aiming for three night workouts this week so I am going to try and go workout tomorrow night as well, we will see how that pans out.

All things small and orange

Long, long ago, in a blogland far away, I wrote about my unholy love for avocados, and by extension my father's guacamole. People, tonight I discovered something almost as good (well not as good as my father's guacamole because nothing is that good). Do you know how good roasted carrots are? Do you? I think you do not fathom the goodness that is the humble carrot. This is a very simple side dish, well except if like me you accidentally set of the smoke alarm (twice) and have to dance around flapping blankets at it and turning on fans. However, simple other than that bit. This comes courtesy of one of the Best New Recipe book by America's Test Kitchen Well, except for the dancing around the apartment bit, that is courtsey of my smoke alarm 2 lbs of baby carrots (two 16 oz bags) 1.5 tsps of olive oil 1/2 tsp of salt 1 tablespoon maple syrup 1 tablespoon butter Heat the oven to 475 degrees. Toss the carrots in the bottom half of a broiler pan and toss them with the olive oil and salt. Put them in the oven to roast for 12 minutes. While they are roasting, melt the butter in a small saucepan until golden (about 1-2 minutes). Take the butter off the heat and mix with the maple syrup. When the carrots are done, pull them out and toss them with the maple syrup and butter mixture. Put them back in the oven for 8 more minutes. Shake the pan twice during the last 8 minutes. Pull them out and voila. The carrot will be just cooked and have a hint of sweetness from the roasting and the maple syrup. They are incredibly yummy. Plus, according to my father, they will help your night vision and give you curly hair. In full disclosure, I could take or leave most carrots generally, especially raw carrots. However, these I love, they ended up being my main dinner meal, so much so I did not finish my polenta. I am taking a baggie to work tomorrow as a snack and they will be dinner tomorrow night. So good, so easy, and you don't have to feel guilty about eating them. I love healthy food discoveries.

A balanced Sunday

I forgot how expensive it can be to try and live on purely healthy non-processed food. At the store this morning, I spent around $100 and pretty much just bought fruit and vegetables and milk. Yes there were a couple of high ticket items, real maple syrup for the glaze on my roasted carrots, a water bottle to carry at work, and tofu for smoothies but still, that is about 30 dollar more than I have been spending in the past. I have decided that food will have to be a non-negotiable expense in my budget, whatever it costs to eat healthy is what it costs. I actually budget $100 a week for food anyways, I just don't usually spend it all. I have already polished off 32 oz of water this morning which leaves about 32 oz to go for the day. Not to mention the fact that I went to the gym and ran for 25 minutes (five more minutes than last week) and did some stretching. I need to lift weights and do situps later on today. It is good weekend in other words. My cat is sleeping on top of the computer monitor and I have celtic music playing in the background as I go about my day. All of this is part of the balance which has been lacking for a while in my life . I may head off to the bookstore later on today but I have not really decided yet, I'll think about it. I made polenta for lunch which turned out to be surprisingly good when topped of with 1/2 cup of marinara sauce with meat. I was surprised because it was far tastier than the restaurant polenta I have made in the past and easy to cook as well. I could have made the marinara sauce, but I can't say I was enthused by that idea. I did have to spend 15 minutes in the grocery store figuring out which sauce did not include high fructose corn syrup but that was a small price to pay for the end result. I am off to check on my laundry now and get on with the rest of my day.

Pumpkin soup and polenta

I am finally back to really cooking, for the first time in a long time. Today, I finally got around to making my pumpkin soup (it was delayed because I had to go buy a pot to cook it in) and it is actually very good. Also, it is a rich enough soup that only having a cup really is enough. Plus, it is basically pumpkin, peanut butter (I used reduced fat) and sweet potatoes. The amount of pumpkin and potatoes far outweighs the amount of peanut butter. The ingredients are as follows: 2 cups of pureed cooked sweet potatoes (about 4 sweet potatoes give or take) 1 cup smooth peanut butter 4 cups of pumpkin 4 tablespoons butter 1 tsp salt 1 tsp fresh ground black pepper 6 cups of chicken stock Heat the butter over medium heat and when it is melted add the sweet potatoes, peanut butter, and pumpkin. Stir to combine and then add the stock, pepper and salt. Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for twenty minutes. Serve. Accidentally I bought pumpkin pie filling rather than pumpkin and while it worked fine, it was a little bit too sweet for my taste. Now, those are words I never thought would come out of my mouth. So next time I am going to remember to buy just canned pumpkin. Now obviously this is not a low fat dish because of the butter and the peanut butter. However, it is ninety percent things that are good for you and sweet potatoes are so ridiculously good for you that they qualify as a superfood. Thus, I refuse to kill myself worrying about the fat content. I think if all you are eating for a meal is a cup of the soup (which is what I am doing) well then you are totally good. In addition, my snacks today were a few slices of turkey with mustard and totally within bounds. I have to say, for the first time in a long time, my body is actually happy with me. I just feel better, more alert and less sluggish. I was napping a lot on weekends, I do not feel the need to do that anymore and it is all down to the change in my diet. I intutively know this about myself, I just get lazy about food and I am working on being less lazy about what I put into my body and about being more aware of the things which trigger my need for sugar or junk food. So, I am back to making meal plans and trying to really plan what I put into my body. As part of the plan to make sure that there is good food in my apartment all week long, I am freezing four small ziploc bags to the pumpkin soup, this will allow me to just pull it out and reheat it on the stove or in my microwave at night. In addition, I am going to roast carrots tommorrow and possibly some other vegetables. I am also going to try to make some polenta which qualifies as a good grain in my world. All of this should be enough good food to get me through next saturday when I will decide what I am going to make for the following week. It is nice to be back on track and this time I have to make sure it lasts permanently while also taking it day by day. So far so good.

A Twofer

So, I made it back to the gym tonight which means that for the first time in forever I have done two night workouts in one week. I have also been pretty good about my food and while I don't see any physical change in terms of weight, I can see the differene in my skin already. It is amazing what drinkin loads of water accomplishes in a short time frame. Actually, given how high stress this week has been, I am doing surprisingly well. There has been some coffee but other than that I have been really good. Although this morning I had to tell myself several times that I was not going to go to the vending machine and eat a candy bar. I am eating a lot more fruit which is good, and this weekend I am actually going to cook my meals in advance which should make a huge difference. I am also going to cut out cheese for a bit, I love it but I eat too much. I am aiming for a decent workout tomorrow morning and maybe one tomorrow night if I feel really motivated. So, I am getting back on track and I am happy about that, and I am definately taking it a day at a time.

I'm going to regret this tomorrow

I did not make it to the gym last night, I came home with a horrible headache and pretty much vegged out in front of the tv. This week at work is brutal, and it has become clear that this is not the best week to give up on coffee. So, instead, I am scaling that back and trying to have only a cup a day, which is far more practical. However, today was a better day (well other than the eight hours I spent in court). I did not have the best workout this morning, but convinced myself that I would come home tonight and go running. When I came home, I kept putting the working out off, but I finally dragged myself over to the apartment complex gym and did some squats, stretching, and 20 minutes of jogging on the treadmill. I am going to be sore in the morning. Still, I was reminded of why I do not like working out at night, the crowds of people who take over the gym. I am so used to working out in the early morning hours with no one else around that it is a shock when there are other people there. I still get the automatic "fat girl in a gym" feeling, like I should go around and personally inform everyone that I work out everyday and this is not some fluke and that I know what I am doing. It is a knee jerk reaction to being in an exercise room with other people and usually being one of the larger people if not the only one. After a few moments the feeling passed and I hopped on the treadmill and began jogging. Frankly, ultimately it only matters what I am doing in my life and not what they think about what I am doing with my life. I am really pleased that I went tonight, it was a good workout and I need to do something to shake up my routine a bit. This week, so far, I already have two more workouts than normal under my belt and that is really good news. Tomorrow, I am going to lift weights in addition to my morning workout and then thursday, hopefully, I will manage some extra cardio. Slowly but surely I am getting back on track and it is about time. But I am going to be sore in the morning.

The good, the bad, the brunch

The problem with weekends is that they are rife with good intentions that never entirely come to fruition. While I did manage to replace my chair and vaccum, I never did deal with my thermostat issue or check out gyms. Not to mention this morning did not quite meet the definition of no carbs and clean living. I have a good excuse, I had two of my close friends over for Sunday brunch and girl bonding. So, there were homemade muffins, coffee, eggs, fruit salad, quiche and bacon. I had a little bit of everything and you know what, I'm not sorry about it. One meal does not derail my whole diet and having balance and a real life is important to me. I did work out today, which for some reason I find horribly hard to do on weekends, I jogged for 20 minutes and did another ten minutes of brisk walking. I have not been running in a while and I can tell, because at the 17 minute mark I began developing a horrible stitch in my side and I had to stop at 20 minutes. However, this is still a triumph given I almost never manage to actually do anything on the weekends. I am going to do situps tonight as well and hopefully tomorrow I will manage two workouts over the course of the day. Tomorrow, I go back to clean living and healthy foods and I chalk up any excess today to the joys of having a real life.

Well so much for that

Well, in case anyone was wondering, the answer to the question of how long I can make my living room chair survive is that I can't salvage it. I tried very hard and after much experimentation with nails and glue it has died a sad death (well part of it did anyway). So, saturday I have to go buy a new (more expensive) chair and get it delivered. I'm slightly bitter about this fact, but it has to be done. Besides I do have a $1000 cushion in my checking account for these sorts of problems (plus $500 in a savings account). It occurs to me that I have never before kept a monetary cushion in my checking account, so hey go me. On the plus side, I get to hang out with my girls tomorrow (well I work with one and she is back from vacation and the other is in town for the holidays) and it is Friday. So, that should improve my mood. I am still on track (mostly due to the repeated mantra in my head that I will not eat sugar) now I just need to improve on the working out aspect of my life. I have lots of things to do this weekend, I am making pumpking soup and freezing is (yes I realize my timing is off on the whole pumpkin thing since they were in season like three months ago but I found a really interesting recipie), buying loads of interesting tea to replace the coffee, hunting down a new chair, possibly looking at gyms, get the apartment maintance guy to come and look at my apparently broken thermostat,and trying to get the rest of my life in order. I need to workout and by workout I mean run because that never happens during the week, I just can't make myself run at 4:30 in the morning and I need to vacum like a maniac. I realize those two thoughts are not connected but that is how my brain works sometimes. I am off to bed, I will be back tomorrow.

Oww, or the day in which minor catastrophes beset our heroine

I have the most godawful headache. Oh and I need a new living room chair because my old one has decided to fall apart (admittedly it was cheap). So now I get to see how long I can make that chair last because I don't really have the money to spend on a new chair. Did I mention the part where my head hurt yet? This is what happens when one quits sugar, diet sodas, and coffee simultaneously (I suspect). I'm very grouchy today, even though I am drinking tea which is caffinated. Oh and my thermostat appears to have shorted out somehow so I have to get the maintance people to fix that tomorrow because I can't change the temperature. Plus, I have a sore throat (just to round out the catalogue of woes. Anyway, I am going to bed (even though it is only 8:30) because if I don't who knows what horrible catastrophe will befall me. I did work out this morning and stayed on my eating plan (no sugar, see above) so lets go with that for the day.

Drastic measures

So, my real problem has always been food. I like sugar, I like sweet things, I love coffee and don't get me started on bread. However, I sleep better and generally function as a happier person when I get rid of all of the above substances. So, tonight I chucked the diet soda, coffee, and flavored creamers from my cupboards. After this week, the bread is following those substances. I'm back to drinking water flavored with lemon and black tea. Already by upping my water intake I feel better, I have more energy and that is a good thing. This weekend I am switching over to soy milk from 2 percent milk and probably changing cereals. This is always my struggle and it never gets easier, not really. That is the dirty little secret of the weightloss wars (at least for me) that you don't wake up some day and have it all be easy, the bad habits lurk just around the corner. There are just less things to eliminate the longer you fight the battle. I don't have to throw away tons of stuff, I just have to tweak my diet and exercise. Perhaps in the end that is progress enough.

Ringing in the new year (or not)

Two days in a row, hey I might be serious about this whole posting thing. I did work out today, ate well, and I am headed to bed shortly. I have never been much for New Year's Eve parties, I don't really drink much at all, maybe a glass of wine every two months or so and I hate driving on nights like tonight. I can't imagine something less fun to do than to be out on the roads with a bunch of potentially drunk drivers. So normally, I spend New Year's Eve very quietly at home, and tomorrow I will probably be up early to work out and avoid the crowds in the workout room at my apartment complex. So, if you are out on the roads, be safe and I will see you in the new year.

My List

New Year's eve is typically the time of resolutions and lists, of looking at the previous year and taking stock. Lets be honest people, 2007 was pretty craptastic for me, oh there were good bits, but lordy was there a lot of crap. Hence the reason I only posted six times over the course of the entire year. Yep, six posts total, go me. So what did I accomplish? Well, I got a new job after a year long search, moved, and began paying down a massive debt load accumulated while unemployed and in law school. Weight loss, well not so much, healthy eating, well not so much. I'm working on that (I swear) okay I had cereal for dinner but I am still working on it. So this year, I am making a list, of what I want to accomplish in 2008 which hopefully will be less craptastic. It is a short list but then there are only two really major goals I have at this point. 1. Get healthy, really healthy. I work out but I don't work out as much as I should, and I need to work on my eating habits. The fridge is stocked with healthy food, and the parental units have offered to pay for a personal trainer so I am going to be finding one of those as well. Note, I am not resolving to lose weight this year, it makes me crazy, and I am beyond the point where that makes sense. I am just resolving to not eat crap anymore. No sugar, minimal carbs, just simple good food. Food that does not make me crash at noon or stay up until 2 am. I am also working on my stress eating, I have a high stress job (some days) and that means I reach for sugar and that must stop for good. 2. Pay off all my credit card debit, I'm halfway there, I should have that paid off by my 31st birthday in July. I'm not resolving to pay off all my student loan debt this year, because that is not possible. My goal is to pay off my student loan debt by the time I am 35 years old. 3. Write here once a week, I do better when I am accountable and this blog is a good way to be accountable for all of my goals. I am not sure I will manange more than once a week but that is a start. So, tomorrow (which is a work holiday) I will get up and work out, and look forward to the new year. It is a clean start and I am ready for a new begining. So, I'll be seeing you in 2008 (I promise).

Leaving on a Jet Plane again

So, tomorrow I hop on a plane and head out to my new job. My cat will follow in a few months as will some of my stuff. Everything is packed, from boxes to suitcases. I tentatively have an apartment (just waiting on criminal background check results), I have a new cell phone and work clothes. Since 2003, this is approximately the 7th time I have moved, the longest I have lived anywhere it the last four years was on my little island and I was there for almost exactly two years. I would like to be in one place for longer than two years because this is begining to wear me out. I will say that I am not sure that where I am moving will be that place, I hope it is but I am not convinced at this point. I expect to be in my new job for a minimum of three years but more than that I cannot say right now. Hopefully it will be great. I don't expect I will be online very much for the next couple of weeks, it is going to be really hectic for awhile with moving and settling into a new job. However, I am so grateful to have a new job, and a place to live that is my own. So, I'm off and I will be back when time permits.

Aack

You know, for a trial lawyer, I don't handle stress particularly well. I am a worrier of the highest order first of all, so I come up with all sorts of horrible scenarios of what could go wrong along the way. 9 times out of 10, nothing goes wrong but I am a worrier. So having to move within 1 week is making me go insane. This week alone, I have changed my car insurance, hopefully rented an apartment (waiting for final approval on that i.e. the credit check), rented a car, gotten a hotel room, I am in the midst of completing my continuing legal education requirements for this year (will be done by Monday), started packing, figured out where to buy a bed in the new location, and a few other things. Doing all of this long distance makes me nervous, moving makes me nervous and so on and so forth. So I am stressed and not sleeping well and not eating well or exercising enough. However, this will pass I know it will and just have to keep saying that to myself for right now.

Oh look I have a blog, who knew

So, I'm back, maybe. Don't get all excited because it may not last. Anyway, I am moving again, finally I have a new job and it is in the mainland U.S. Yay. I am also using this as an opportunity to get back on that whole diet and workout path that I have been avoiding. Is it bad that my two apartment requirements are pet friendly and a fitness center? Anyway, I start the new job in two weeks, providing that I can get everything organized that quickly and hopefully will be around more now that I have a job and things to talk about. So far today, I have hunted apartments, made phonecalls to clear some lawyer registration stuff, and started looking for moving companies. Oh, and managed a 30 minute run and another 30 minute walk. Good stuff, we will see how it goes from here on out.

Time warps

Sometimes, you stumble across funny things. I have kept a diary over the years on and off (well multiple diaries if we are being precise). I have also made so many attempts at weight loss that it is not funny. My favorite stat at one point was that most people will make as many as 11 or more attempts to lose weight before being successful (if they are successful at that point). It makes the point that this whole process is not easy. Anyway, I found a food journal from 2001 when I was in law school. I apparently notated my food for the month of January. Oh it was frightening. I also noted in the journal that I weighed 245 lbs at the time. I give you one example of what I was apparently doing back then: Exercise 20 situps. Brunch: 1 piece of french toast with 1/4 pat butter, hash browns with ketchup, 2 breakfast burritos, 3 glasses of milk. Dinner : apple sauce, fruit salad, white hard boiled egg, salad, 2 glasses of milk. I will now contrast this with what I did yesterday. Exercise: 45 situps, 2 hours and 15 minutes on the treadmill but I thought I was slacking (getting ankle twinges again) Breakfast: A frozen banana, 1/2 cu. 1 percent milk, and a light yogurt (approx. 90 calories) blended into a smoothie. Snack: Frozen grapes, two bunches Lunch: Pita bread filled with lettuce and tuna fish, onion and light mayo 3 cups of coffee and a lot of tea Snack: small pita bread with some jam and a touch of butter, more frozen grapes Dinner: Pita bread with tomatos and light mayo on one side and tuna fish on the other. A light yogurt with walnuts. This was a lot of food for me, I was feeling vaguely guilty about it. Especially the pita with jam and butter, not a healthy snack as it should have been. However, I was struck by how much more balanced my meals are now, there is a lot more protein in my diet and a lot more fruit and vegetables. My old journal varies between meals like the one posted above, and days where I ate 4 rice cakes for dinner and salad with nothing in it. It is a reminder of how disordered my eating patterns were at the time. I struggle still with food, but not to this extreme. That is progress, and sometimes we just need to be reminded that we have made progress on this long journey. Maybe that is what time warps and old journals are for in the end.

Err, exercise, hmm.

I sort of exercised today. I sauntered along on the treadmill for 90 minutes this morning. I am thinking I will head out now and do a little more cardio, hopefully some running because I really need to make my heart do some actual work and I have not done that lately. Food has been okay, but I know that I am stressed about the non-job situation and that is messing with my eating (stress always messes up my eating). Thus, since I am hungry right now, I am going to combat it with working out. Oh, and I might get on the scale and see how bad the damage from the last month (i.e. Christmas) is, since I have not gotten on a scale in forever. I sense this will be bad. I will let you know how it goes, I swear. Okay, I am off to go visit the treadmill and attempt to be motivated, and maybe get rid of the stress headache from looking at job postings all morning and finding nothing I am qualified for in the least (pity I am not a patent attorney).

Oh right blogging

Well, I see I have finally been called out on my extended blogging absence (thanks Becky, nice to see you are back too). I Have been fighting off problematic aches and pains in my ankles in my long silence (but still working out which is a plus). Still, job hunting, pickings have been a bit slim. The scale is steadfastly not moving, then again there was that whole thing we call Christmas and less than stellar eating. I am still working on it, and have been getting back on track in the new year. Mostly, I trying to figure out whether or not to keep running given I develop ankle pains especially in my "bad" ankle. This goes back to falling down a flight of stairs as a teenager and then stupidly walking on a swollen ankle for two weeks and it has never been the same. Better but not the same. Someday I will be able to afford a personal trainer and possibly an expert on sports injuries but not right now. So, I'm here, limping along as it were, but here and working out everyday and yes I guess I am back.

Status Quo

I really don't have much to say, I am still running twice a day (well except for most of last week) and watching what I am eating. I have had a recurring injury with my right ankle, which led to only running for 30 minutes a day for the last week. My ankle just felt stiff and generally unhappy. This week I am back to my regular plan and so far so good. I am seeing some results, I would like to see more obviously but I will take what I can get for right now. Thanksgiving was pretty much a blip on the radar, and did not involving insane amounts of eating which is good news. I am running pretty comfortably now at 5.1 mph and next week I will increase the speed provided that my ankle allows me to do so. I chose not to run the 5K on thanksgiving which I was thinking about because of the nagging soreness in my right ankle which I do think was the right choice. Anyway, I am off to lift weights and get my second workout in now.

Reflecting on Running

Today was better than yesterday in terms of running, not fun but better. I know my body well enough to know that it usually takes me about 2 weeks to adjust and accept a new level of difficulty in exercise (even if is only a tiny level of change). I was reflecting today as I was running (a vain attempt to keep my brain distracted from the pain) that sadly running is the only thing in the long term that really works for me. I don't necessarily love running, I don't hate it, but it works better than any other form of cardio for me. Perhaps this is because it does not require coordination and I can constantly adjust the degree of difficulty (and it is hard to cheat while running, possible but hard). I was doing a lot of other cardio exercise and not having any success and now everything is begining to work again. This is a good thing, and obviously better food choices is also a plus. Still, really, it is all about the running for me. So, I should work on liking it because I am going to be doing a lot of running for a long time. This naturally leads into the realization that I will be exercising forever and having to do a lot of exercise because my body is completely against losing weight as a concept. Sigh. However, given the alternative, I can live with having to exercise and watch my food intake. It is all about the tradeoffs, the pluses and minuses, and being healthy and fitting into the clothes I own outweighs the negatives in the long run.

5.1 mph, oh the agony

I actually got back into town on Sunday, but did not get around to posting until now. I am back on track, and despite entirely too much food over the weekend, I did not gain any weight. This is good news. I am now at the painful stage of running, the part where I start increasing my speed rather than my time. I spent the last month running at a 5 mph pace and on Monday I began running a 5.1 mph pace. This should not make a major difference in the pain level of running on the treadmill. However, it made a big difference and the last two mornings have been brutal. I trust that the pain will end up equaling more progress over the next month. Part of the reason I am pushing myself right now is that I believe at some point, someone will want to interview me. I say this as I keep sending out resumes and letters into the job market abyss. I know that first impressions count and that the thinner and healthier I am, the better I will look in my interview suits. So, I keep running like a little maniac. I am running about 7.6 miles a day, 5.1 in the morning and 2.5 in the afternoon and I am watching what I am putting into my body. Progress remains slow in many respects but I've lost about 6 lbs over the last 5 weeks, and that is progress in the right direction.

Off on a trip

Tomorrow morning I am off with the parental units to visit my grandparents for 3 days. I'll be back on Sunday. I admit that trips always make me a bit nervous, I can't stick with a regular exercise schedule and food is difficult. Since we are staying with family it will probably be a bit more difficult than normal just due to the lack of gym access. The great thing about hotels is the gym facilities (okay the gym facilities are usually crappy but they exist which is the important thing). I am going to take workout gear with me, in the hopes that exercising will be a possibility but I am not holding my breath. I will be able to workout on Sunday and be back on schedule then, so really this is only a minor break. It may even be a good thing since I have been exercising so much recently. Anyway, I have to go pack and get everything sorted out, I will be back next week.

Random ramblings

I finally got all of my boxes that I shipped when I moved home. Other than some clothing and a ridiculous amount of shoes, it mostly consists of things I probably really don't need in the long run. Still, it is nice to have all of my stuff (especially my dive gear and my shoes). I am still on track with exercise, I had forgotten how brutal it could be to run for an hour at a time. Still, stretching the last couple of days has really helped and it is a reminder that I should do it more often than I generally manage. I figure that I am running between 6 and 7 miles everyday which is a lot more than I have been running for a long time. I am beging to see results, although they are not really measurable yet. I am down about 4 to 5 pounds since I came home, which is about a 1lb a week. I figure in a few weeks I will really began to notice the results (I hope) otherwise I shall become frustrated yet again.

Monday, Monday

This weekend I went and purchased a much needed fitness essential. Well, actually my mother bought it for me, I love parents. It is a training log, to record daily workouts. I realize this seems odd given the fact I track everything by blog. However, this is more for tracking progress, times, types of workouts, and difficulty levels. Very dry boring stuff in the abstract, but useful in the long run. It will tell me what to do and where I am lacking and why over the next few months (it is a 6 month book). I used to keep a training manual religiously but I stopped and it is a good thing to resume. On other subjects, I did not run yesterday, I went and walked/hiked with my parents. About a 3 mile loop with a fair number of hills, not as challenging as I remembered it being, which was interesting. This morning it was back to running on the treadmill. I ran for an hour which translated to about 4.8 miles and then added on another 50 minutes of walking. Then, I managed to convince myself to lift some weights, do a few situps, and some proper stretches. I have been sorely lacking in all of those areas recently. I am trying to add back in more weight lifting and strength training in order to build some more muscle. Hopefully all of these efforts will help over the next few weeks. I am making some progress (slowly) and that is the good news afterall.

Getting medival

I think my body is about to go medival on my brain. You know, use battleaxes and other implements of destruction to stop my brain from making it go and work out because it is a really good idea in theory. Yesterday afternoon and this morning were not good workouts (in case you missed that bit) for entirely different reasons. After all, variety is the spice of life. Yesterday it was due to chaffing issues (yes, fine that was TMI) and this morning it was just due to general exhaustion. I stopped running twice this morning, albeit briefly, before resuming and finishing out my 55 minute run. Yesterday, I ran in 5 and 10 minute increments with 5 minute walks in between each segment adding up to 30 minutes. Normally, I run 30 minutes straight. I am about to go workout again (okay 50 minutes from now) which is probably a silly idea. However, tomorrow is a day of from working out (yay!) and I only workout once on Sundays as a general rule. I am pushing my body a lot, but I find it hard to slack off because that generally leads to a lot more laziness than is good for me. Next week I am going to be gone for a few days so I won't be working out as much as normal, and that is probably a good thing. Anyway, I am going to go forage for an afternoon snack and change into workout clothes, I can feel the battleaxes coming out already.

Lucky Number 500

I've been keeping this blog since May 12, 2004, approximately two and a half years. Today marks my 500th post. It has been a bumpy ride, on all fronts over the past couple of years. I think like many bloggers I have chronicled more of the rougher patches than the smooth ones (trauma is often more interesting than triumph). I have not kept all my weight off over the past 2.5 years, but I am far skinnier than I was when I started this process. I am in decent shape as well in terms of fitness level (I can jog for extended periods of time) and I wear a size 12 as opposed to a size 22 or 24. I am grateful for that reality everyday. I was thinking this morning again as I was slowly jogging away on the treadmill about how much of working out is doing it when you do not want to exercise. Somedays are easy and make you feel better (almost lighter on your feet), many days are not at all. The dirty little secret of working out and most fit people is that they have really bad exercise days too, but they do it anyway. This morning I did not want to run, and I just started moving and kept going, I ran for 55 minutes. I can remember the days when I would have just skipped the workout or walked on the treadmill. I like this version of myself better, the version which does it anyway because it is routine and part of my daily life. Secretly, I like exercise now and if that is not worth slogging through 500 posts, I don't know what is, that is a gift worth all the bumpy rides in the world.

And so it goes

I don't have that much to say on this site right now, so I haven't been posting as often as normal. My body is as always failing to do exactly what I want it to do in the time period that I have allotted for change. In other words, my body has one time schedule and my brain has another. However, I soldier on and right now I am trying to ignore things like scales. I am running for 55 minutes in the morning (straight) and 30 minutes in the afternoon (straight) with an extra 50 minutes of walking in the morning and 30 minutes of walking in the afternoon. Everything is sore, and everything hurts. My eating is as good as it has been in at least a year. I am still job hunting, no responses as of yet. I am attempting to manage the frustration on all fronts, so far it is working. Patience has never been my strong suit, I am working on it. I trust that my body will respond eventually and that I will get responses to my job inquiries. Right now it is hard, but I keep working at it. The problem with hard work is that it is just that "hard". If losing and keeping off weight was easy, everyone would manage it and this country would not have an obesity epidemic. I am trying to remember that and it is working to some extent. I'm still running 6 days a week and that is the good news, so lets stick with that today.

Not dead

I'm still here, still working out twice a day and eating well. It is begining to work, thank goodness. I am also sending out resumes and job hunting which is never fun. Just today I sent a resume to a job that would be ideal, but is not necessarily in my ideal location. However, it is the logical next step job and I am all about the logical next step, and I don't hate the location (especially since it is in the mainland U.S.). My knee is twinging again today, never a good sign. I know that right now I am pushing a lot of cardio on my poor body but I feel the need to get back into good shape and this is the best way that I know of to manage that result. I figure I am running for a hour and twenty minutes every day (not all at once) which works out to around 6 miles because as we previously established, I do not run fast. My plan is to be able to run for an hour continuously (I am at 50 minutes right now) and then work on increasing my speed. Possibly a silly plan but it is a plan nonetheless.

Is it Saturday yet?

I am still manage two workouts a day right now, but don't ask me how that is possible. My body is exhausted and tired and sore, and I am seeing no progress. Then again I have only been doing this for a week so I am not going to be impatient. Actually, for the most part, my afternoon workouts have been brilliant, and fairly enjoyable. Morning always seems difficult. I think it is the part where I drag myself out to the treadmill knowing full well that I am going to have to run for forty-five long minutes. Alternatively, it could be due to the fact that my cat (who I lock in my room at night) tends to start howling at 3-4 am in the morning and continues until she gets let out of the room and is free to chase my parent's cat. Good times.

Er...I think I might have found the zone

I think I may be vaguely creeping back into that mythical land we like to call "the zone" in weight bloggerland. You know, the mythical place where eating right and working out is not a hassle and is relatively easily. Yesterday, I managed two hours and forty five minutes of cardio over the course of the day. One hour and forty five minutes in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. This included an hour and fifteen minutes of running and also interval work. I'm thinking that this afternoon I will do another hour or so of cardio (already ran for 45 minutes this morning and walked for 45 minutes) with about 30 minutes of running total. I had forgotten that the benefit of working out in the afternoon after working out in the morning was that I don't feel pushed to accomplish anything (the way I do in the morning). The afternoon is pretty much a bonus workout time and I can do whatever I want to do in that time. I am using it for interval training right now, run five minutes on a steep incline, walk five minutes on a moderate incline and repeat. Also food has been really good this week. See, this is what I mean about "the zone", when you are in it, anything seems possible but getting into it and staying there is really hard. Right this moment, I have the time so I am going to use it to my full advantage, it is much harder when you are working to manage this level of working out. It is possible though and I am going to try to keep at it for as long as I can manage it. Ah, I do love "the zone", hopefully it will last for the next few months.

So, I'm crazy

Yup, crazy, and not crazy like a fox either. I am thinking, pondering really, running either a 10k or a 5k on Thanksgiving Day (you can pick either). So, either running 3.1 miles (give or take) or running 6.2 miles (give or take). I can run approximately 5 miles in 1 hour, and probably run 6 miles in around an hour and 15 minutes (being very generous with my time). Still, being really prepared to do either within the next 41 days is probably insane. I'm still probably going to do it anyways, unless I am somewhere else at Thanksgiving this year. Still, this means I need to run more, start running outside and definately start running faster. I've moved myself up to jogging 45 minutes everyday this week, I started yesterday and then jogged this morning as well but I need to work on the whole running outside thing. Still, craziness, I am just saying that right now. On the good side, my knee doesn't hurt anymore and my ankle feels much better.

So it's friday

Eh, so it is Friday and I really have nothing exciting to report today. Exercise happened, as it always does and then I got to work job hunting. This has taken up my day along with doing laundry (I need clean exercise clothes). My knee is much better, still a little stiff but a huge improvement from Monday and Tuesday. Food is fine, although I am slowly eating my own weight in fruit. Really nothing terribly exciting is happening on the exercise front. This I think in the end is the problem for most of us, exercising is anything but fun and exciting. I find it gets really hard even now to drag myself out onto the treadmill and work out. It was equally hard dragging myself off to the gym. This is why I wear exercise clothes when I get up in the morning it really is the only way to make sure that I go out and exercise (even though it is terribly boring at times). Anyway, I'm off to finish the laundry (which is almost entirely filled with workout clothing at this point).

Much better, thanks

So, the knee is much better today (I know the internet cares deeply about all my aches and pains) and so is the ankle. I think this is a good sign. My current theory is that I just jumped back into running too fast without any adjustment for the fact I had not been doing it for a long time. I managed yet another 40 minute run today with no problems and 1 hr 20 minutes of walking after I was done with the running. Hopefully, this change in cardio will make a difference soon and the scale will start to make some real movement again. Then again, maybe not, who knows at this point. Right now, my goal is to get up to an hour of running each day in the next few weeks (that should work out to about 5 miles a day running) and then I am going to work on increasing my speed. I don't expect to ever be fast because frankly speed is not something anybody in my family manages terribly well, but I am going to give it a shot anyway. Other than that, nothing exciting to report today.

I'm getting old or something

Hmm, having an interesting issue in the last few days. I have been running like a little maniac (not quickly mind you, but still running), and my body is definately paying for it. My knee is sore and so is my previously injured ankle. However, it pretty much goes away once I am warmed up and running. I don't really want to stop running, it has always worked for me and I feel better when I am getting in at least a 30 minute run everyday (right now I am running for 40 minutes). However, I don't want to mess up my knee either and cause real damage. So, this is my thought, which may be silly in the extreme. I am going to run tomorrow and Friday and take Saturday off and reassess where I am with everything. It is possible that this is just my body protesting two hours of cardio a day and 40 minutes of running (especially since I stopped running back in January). Therefore, a day off would make a real valid difference and I can see what is up with the aches and pains. Alternatively, nothing will change and I will have to reevaluate. I would like to get back to running at about 6 mph (rather than 5 mph) and running for an hour at a time, but I am not going to chance it until my knee really begins to feel better. I am hoping this is all muscle soreness and it will go away. Oh, and food is excellent (see what happens when I am not under stress).

New time zone, new plan

And we're back. Admittedly in an entirely different time zone, location, and continent. I am back in the mainland U.S. (somewhere, never have been big on revealing my exact location), and am begining the job search for a new position now that I am no longer on my tiny little island. The one benefit of unemployment is the ability to work out a lot and revamp my diet. I am already eating less because I am not stressed in the same way and working out for two hours is not nearly as much of a problem. I also started running again today, and I really need to work on my speed because it is just embarassingly slow now. Speed and endurance are my two big goals in terms of fitness right now and both are rather lacking. This morning was all about my 35 minute run (half at 5 mph and half at 5.5 mph) plus an hour and five minutes of walking at an incline. In a minute I am going to take a break from job hunting and get in 15 minutes of sit ups and some extra cardio in between the situps. Tomorrow I am going to dig out the weights I own which are hiding somewhere in the house and get my weight training routinue back up to par as well. I have a lot of work to do in the next few months to get down to a weight that I personally am happy with and to make some additional progress. I am going to hopefully be interviewing soon for jobs and looking good is always a helpful selling point in addition to job skills. Anyway, I'm off to get somethings accomplished now.