Saturday, October 16, 2004

The vision inside my head

It is funny how we see ourselves even when we change. I still look at myself in the mirror and see all the extra weight I have left to lose and the extra skin under my arms, in other words I see the fat girl still. I am coming slowly to the realization that not everyone else sees that person with the clarity that I do, or really at all. I was out last night with my roommates and the people we run around in the jungle with every week and I came to this realization. Mostly when people wouldn't believe how much I weighed and I had drunk boys leaning all over me, I wasn't actually drinking so I was able to observe and analyze the situation. I am begining to realize that I have to let go of who I percieve myself to be from my past and embrace who I am now. I think this is why moving has been really good for me, I am around people who have never seen who I was and accept who I am now and that is allowing me to see that person more clearly. It is amazing the clarity which that brings, along with two hours of good cardio every week.

No comments: