Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I have begun noticing recently that people are always surprised when I tell them that I eat a mid-afternoon snack every day (usually some string cheese and a piece of fruit). It is almost as if they expect snacks to be forbidden, that in the diet world there should be three meals a day and no more. So, I've tried explaining the concept of more smaller meals as opposed to three huge meals, or the idea that not having a snack will inexorably cause the eating of everything in sight. Still, it does not really seem to penetrate as an idea. I think it is all linked to the misconception that losing weight has to be achieved through some sort of deprevation, almost a form of personal punishment for having been overweight in the first place. I will admit to eating less than I used to eat when I was really heavy, but I am not punishing myself. I feel fuller from cleaner foods like large salads and healthy portions of meats and vegetables than I ever did from processed food like chips and candy. I don't crash and lose energy the way I did when I ate a lot of sugar and I don't really miss bread at all. I don't go to bed hungry or craving food like I used to and I have always liked the taste of water (strange I know). So, when people ask about my diet or how I can eat snacks I am always hesitant in my response, I'm not on a diet and I eat what I want in moderate portions. In the end, there are just some things that I don't want anymore, I prefer frozen bananas to ice cream and I would rather have a good piece of salmon than a fried piece of chicken. There isn't any food which is forbidden to me and maybe in the end that is the secret to the success I have had so far, oh and don't worry I did have an afternoon snack today.
Posted by Kat at 3:48 PM
So, normally I take today off to let my body recuperate. However, not this week, so I got up and ran for 50 minutes and walked for 60 minutes. The running part was really horrible and exhausting. Normally I have bits at about the 10, 20, and 30 minute mark where I relax into the running and it is not all that bad. Not today, today I think I just kept running out of some hidden masochistic streak I did not realize that lay within me. I even thought about running longer even though it was horrible and then decided that with three more straight days of working out coming up it was better to take it a little bit easy. Okay, maybe running for 50 minutes does not qualify as taking it easy but by that point I had been running for 40 minutes so it seemed silly to not finish up with a regular 50 minute run. Now, tomorrow will probably be just as bad physically but I think it will be better mentally because I will not be thinking constantly about the fact that it is supposed to be my day off which is what I was thinking today. Anyway, seven days of exercise down and three more to go and then I get a break for at least one day and maybe more depending on how things go over the weekend. So, now I am off to get some tasks accomplished for the rest of the day now that exercise is out of the way.
Posted by Kat at 11:11 AM
Monday, August 30, 2004
I did however completely forget to mention it in my last post. So anyway, today was a 50 minute run, 60 minute walk, weights (I was able to up the number of reps finally) and abs. I suppose overall it was pretty strenuous because when I was five minutes late in making lunch my body began to complain that it was absolutely starving. Now, two glasses of water and a giant salad later it is much happier and calmer. I mean, for the record, I literally made lunch at 12:05 pm rather than 12:00 pm and my body was extremely upset with me. Five minutes total difference, I guess my body is as much a creature of habit as the rest of me but that is a little bit ridiculous. I am currently weighing in at 166.4 as of this morning which is nice and I have resolved to try and not be whiny about what I weigh anymore. Really, it doesn't bother me than much, I am much more focused on how I feel than on what I weigh. Besides, I figure it is going to take me a little over a year to lose all the weight and given it took me 26 years to put it all on, that isn't really very much time at all. So, no more whining from me, although no doubt I will start whining again at some point so possibly you should just ignore my protestations about being good on this point. Still, I am going to really try and be more grateful for my success from now on because after all patience and gratitude are what have gotten me this far (far more than whining and instant gratification).
Posted by Kat at 1:18 PM
Sitting on my desk right now are a lot of pictures, populated with friends from college and graduate school, family weddings, and vacation pictures. Here is the thing, I am in a lot of those pictures dressed in everything from formal wear to shorts and I don't recognize myself. I know that it is me but the face is wrong, there are extra rolls of fat under the chin and no cheek bones. Don't get me wrong, I still carry a little extra fat under my chin but not in the same way and I don't look like a possible choice for a young jolly Mrs. Santa Claus anymore. My face is interesting now where before it was rather swollen and unremarkable except for my eyes. More than anything though I look at the girl in the pictures and I close my eyes for a minute and try to remember who she really was and what she really felt in that body. I expected some level of transformation when I started down this path, some level of alteration, not an entire rebirth. I expected to be myself but better, I didn't expect to be an entirely different person, that was never the goal. The reality is that more and more I am becoming an entirely new entity, someone I never was before, and not only do I not physically resemble the girl in the pictures, I don't emotionally resemble her either. Some days that is scary, but I wouldn't go back to who she was, still I wonder if she (the old me) had known how much would change would she have started the whole weightloss process in the first place? I don't know, but I know that the girl I am now would have made that choice and maybe it is time that I start taking pictures of her.
Posted by Kat at 11:43 AM
Sunday, August 29, 2004
However, not this week. I get excited because usually it means I have one more day of working out until I get to rest but this week I have to workout on Tuesday which is my rest day. My cousin is getting married next weekend and I am not sure how much exercise I will be able to get in, or what the food will be like, so I am picking up Tuesday as an extra workout day. I figure it is a form of insurance to help keep me on track. So, today instead of having one more day of working out before I rest, I have at least five more days of working out without a break. Frankly, I am feeling a bit whiny about the whole prospect but it does have to be done regardless. Today, I have already worked out, we did half the stadium and then I walked for an hour at a reasonably fast pace. Tomorrow it is back to running on the treadmill and weights, in fact I will probably run everyday this week. I am fine on food, but I have only had breakfast and a ton of water today. However, we are going to barbeque lamb tonight which should be really good and there is a ton of grilled chicken in the fridge so I can have a good salad for lunch. I don't expect food will be a problem until next weekend and I am only concerned then because there will be a lot of eating out but I am planning on being careful. This is the third wedding I am attending since I started losing weight and I haven't messed up horribly yet so I am not terribly concerned. Besides, I am taking workout clothing with me and I am sure that the hotel will have a gym I can use early in the morning. Clearly, I firmly believe in having advance plans for events, even if it means picking up an extra workout day long before the actual event. Still, Sunday is not as much fun as it is normally but that will only be true for a week.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
I was thinking today about how lovely it would be if I could get someone else to work out for me. Now, this isn't a new thought and I may have even blogged about it in the past but frankly it is hot and I have no interesting in revisiting my archives at this precise moment in time. Anyway, back to my thought, I don't really hate working out and sometimes I enjoy (momentarily) the mind clearing properties of running. However, every now and then I would like to pass off my exercise obligations to someone else for a day or two. Clearly, this is a pipe dream, the kind of pipe dream which could provide a transport system for a large city's potable water needs. A reminder of course that what makes this whole process really hard is that no one else can do it for you, you can't hire the neighborhood kids to run for you or a friend to eat healthy for you, all of it has to be done by the person losing weight. This is a lot of pressure to be under and so I am now working on dividing it into logical steps (since clearly hiring someone to run for me is both useless and monetarily unfeasible) throughout each day. Little things that I can do easily without thinking about them too much, like wearing workout clothes to bed, always eating an afternoon snack, avoiding the kitchen unless it is meal time, and so far it seems to be working. Still, it would be really nice if someone else could work out for me tomorrow morning at the stadium, but they can't so I guess I'll be out there at 7:30 in the morning climbing stairs again.
Posted by Kat at 6:32 PM
The last two days have been really warm, I think we are finally experiencing a late August heat wave. It was so hot yesterday evening that I couldn't make myself walk for an hour on the treadmill but I think I made up for it today by doing the entire stadium in the heat and hot sun. I actually ran out of water (which is unusual) prior to finishing and the only think that saved me was the fact the last four sets of stairs were in the shade. I also went shopping with my mom for a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding next weekend. I found a nice simple black dress at Talbots, I will probably wear bright pink shoes with it to make it more interesting. I did have to buy a piece of shapewear to help smooth out my stomach and the roll above my waist which is hanging on to my body with a fierce and unrelenting determination. I think I may actually have more fat rolls right now than I did 75 pounds ago because I am no longer one big round lump around my midsection. I figure that either the rolls will eventually go away as I lose the rest of the weight or I will deal with them surgically once I have reached and maintained my goal weight. Either way, I look so much better now that I refuse to worry about a few rolls around my midsection even if they show up in pictures. Of course, I may just be feeling cocky today because I saw someone who hadn't seen me in a long time and she was stunned by the amount of weight I had lost. However, really I think that I just don't care anymore and that is a good and healthy place to be in terms of my appearance, right now it is all about my long term health and being really active for the future.
Posted by Kat at 4:05 PM
Friday, August 27, 2004
So, in the time I was gone I didn't get a chance to mention my new favorite food. Frozen bananas, no really frozen bananas are great. Also, they are simple to prepare, just peel a banana and put it in your freezer for a couple of hours (please note that peeling the banana is essential because otherwise you have to take off a frozen peel with a knife and that leads to both cold hands and possibly self-inflicted knife wounds which is not a good outcome). Presto, one very good frozen snack which is all creamy and delicious. I admit that this is an idea lots of other people have had and I am probably leaping on the bandwagon late in the day. However, I was so impressed with my first frozen banana snack that I had a minor freakout where I was convinced I was eating some kind of 900 calorie desert extravaganza. Fortunately, shortly thereafter I came to my senses and realized that in fact I had just eating a single banana which is one of my standard afternoon snacks and it was the fact that it was frozen which made it especially good as opposed to a high calorie count. I may try to expand the experience into other frozen fruits but I am not sure that they will have the creamy goodness of a banana when frozen, I will have to see what I think and then report back.
Posted by Kat at 1:59 PM
I was just without the internet since about Tuesday morning until now. Anyway, I have been good while I was not able to post and keeping up on my exercise and food. That plateau I thought I was entering has finally been broken (although not until the last day or so) and I am now down to 167.4 lbs as of this morning when I weighed myself. Today, I actually got up at 6:20 am to start working out because I need to wait around in the house for the phone repairman to show up and check on the internet problem. Clearly, the universe has a sense of humor since the day the repairman is supposed to show up is the day the internet works again on its own. Anyway, today I ran for 50 minutes, lifted weights and did abs. I have to walk later because I needed to be in the house waiting for the repairman by 8 am and I wasn't able to haul myself out of bed at 5 am to start working out (although I did wake up at 5 am and seriously consider that as an option, still seriously considering something as an option and actually getting out of bed are two entirely different things). I sort of sped up some parts of my weight workout to get finished and showered by 8 am with the result of feeling rather ill when I was finished working out. My brother claims that this is a good thing, which may definatively prove that some kind of exercise related insanity exists in my family. Anyway, I had a pretty good workout even if I do not manage to pick up an hour of walking later on tonight and tomorrow it is back to the stadium so I am still on track with my exercise and food for the week.
Posted by Kat at 12:36 PM
Monday, August 23, 2004
Today was my last day of working out before my day off and as always happens I am reentering a plateau period. I was actually sort of expecting it so it is not really a surprise although it does not help my motivation to work out. However, I did run for 50 minutes, walk for 60, and do weights and abs which was the plan for today. I am also back to being organized on food after a couple days of missing meals so I had a huge salad for lunch and I will have an afternoon snack shortly. Both of these things make me feel much more balanced and I think will help the plateau in the long term. I am tired, but I am always tired on the last day of my workout week so it is also expected. I did fine at the party yesterday and did not eat anything bad which was good. No margaritas or guacamole for me which means I am still totally on plan. I do find it odd that now I look at trigger foods like cookies or chips and think about how I would really like to eat them and then I go and have a glass of water. It is a strange switch from wanting one and therefore eating one to wanting one and acknowledging that and then moving on without consuming the treat. It has gotten a lot easier over time and I wonder sometimes if this is how thin people think and thus are able to stay thin, I do not know because I have never really been a thin person but I assume that I will find out eventually when I reach my goal weight. Still, in the end I know that how I approach food will never be the same as a naturally thin person and I am learning to be okay with that reality.
Posted by Kat at 3:22 PM
Sunday, August 22, 2004
So, today there is another party at my house which I had completely forgotten about, probably because it is for my mother's work. Still, I shall be on plan and today I did actually manage to remember to eat lunch. This morning we only did half of the stadium (18 sets of stairs) because of the party but I supplemented with an hour of brisk walking on the treadmill so that was still a pretty decent workout. Still I am going to be careful about what I eat today even though my father made guacamole and no one makes guacamole which is as good. However, I shall distract myself by helping with the barbeques and talking to people which is usually a very good way to avoid putting actual food in my mouth. I always like to have an actual game plan going into an event because that way I am less likely to react badly and eat food that I shouldn't be eating. Besides, being out of the 160's eventually is a lot more important to me than having ice cream or even my father's guacamole (it may almost be sacrilege to say this about my father's guacamole), so I am still avoiding those foods. Anyway, I'm off to help with party preparations where I shall attempt to avoid the lovely guacamole and margaritas that we will probably end up serving to the guests.
Posted by Kat at 1:06 PM
Saturday, August 21, 2004
So, my brother and sister-in-law were down for dinner last night which was fun and I was totally okay on food. I even somehow resisted chips and margaritas, although now it looks like I may be going out to dinner tonight so I will have to be good for two days in a row. Anyway, we gave our parents their presents last night and my father got a Big Green Egg so now we can really smoke food, my brother and I are rather excited about this prospect since parental cooking is always a good thing in this family. We actually spent this afternoon assembling it since the Big Green Egg was rather more complicated to put together than one might have anticipated. There were multiple parts and diagrams which is impressive given that it is basically a big ceramic pot that one smokes meats in or uses to grill items. Thus, I have completely messed up my food schedule for the day, for the second day in a row I more or less completely missed lunch. Yesterday I had some fruit because I wasn't hungry and today by the time I realized I had missed lunch it was after 3 pm in the afternoon. The hazards of having fun with a Big Green Egg will get you every single time. Anyway, this is especially impressive since we did the entire stadium this morning over the course of about two hours so you would think hunger pains would have kicked in at some point and reminded me that I need to eat. Clearly, you would be wrong about this since I am still not particularly hungry now that I have realized I have missed lunch. I am however going to go eat something so that I am not starving at dinner and eating everything in sight. I should probably go and do that now.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Three days of working out down, three to go. I always find today hard because it means I have been running for three days in a row and my legs are really tired. However, that doesn't mean I get to skip running so this morning I ran for 50 minutes, walked for 60, lifted weights and did abs. In other words I had my normal Friday routine and now I have two days before I have to lift weights again. We are having a family thing for my parents tonight so working out was definately on the agenda so that I have burned enough calories for tonight. Hey, at least I am not a synchronized swimmer, the team was on the news this morning while I was working out and apparently they work out as many as 8 hours every day. Okay, that puts two hours a day into perspective and leaves a lot less room for whining on my part. Anyway, I'm off to find lunch and get organized so I will probably be back later.
Posted by Kat at 11:53 AM
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Yep, today is my mother's birthday although we are actually celebrating tomorrow. I meant to wish her a happy birthday this morning in my blog but forgot (yeah I know that probably makes me a bad child). Anyway, I would sing happy birthday but that would be really painful because I cannot sing in tune to save my life. Oh, and for anyone who is worried about my forgetfulness, my brother, sister-in-law, and I did remember to actually buy a gift for my mother. I would claim to have more to report on the weight loss front today, but since I am currently totally on plan I have nothing to say. I do however have clean clothing since I have once again done the laundry. I do the laundry a lot because I don't own very much in the way of clothing right now since I keep shrinking out of it. Also, I can workout in stinky workout clothes but I hate having to do that and attempt to avoid such a problem at all costs. I would whine about how long it takes to do laundry but this is better than doing it by hand which I have had to do in the past. So, I'm off to check on my last load of clothing to see if it is dry and then maybe check in on the olympics (I am after all obsessed with the olympics right now).
Posted by Kat at 4:23 PM
I worked out this morning by running for 60 minutes and walking for 60 minutes. I ran at a pace of 4.9 mph for the first 30 minutes and then at a pace of 5.0 mph for the second 30 minutes. I also increased my walking pace slightly which was good. However, I did underestimate the amount of water I needed while exercising so I have already had two huge glasses of water since I got off the treadmill. I am still firmly in the 160's, I was at 169.2 today which is down and that is a good sign. Also, I am a lot less tired from working out this week then I was last week which means I am adjusting to the new speed that I am running at which is nice. However, that does mean that in about a week I will have to increase the difficulty of my cardio yet again so that I am still really working hard. There is always something to work on in my exercise routine and I suppose that ultimately that prevents me from getting bored, or then again I don't get bored because I expect the workouts to be rather dull and I am prepared for that fact. Anyway, still on track with everything for today.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Somedays I really have nothing to post here. Yet here I am anyway, posting away. So, my brother asked me today if I am going to my 10 year high school reunion (which I believe is actually next summer) and I had two thoughts, first that I am really old and second that I would not be caught dead at my high school reunion. I hated everything about high school, well with the exception of a few teachers and a couple of extracuricular activities. Mostly, I hated high school because it is never fun being the fat kid during your teenage years, kids (especially teenage girls) can be cruel and anything that makes you stand out is bad. Still, there is the momentary twinge in the back of my head that I could go back to high school as the skinny girl which would be new. However, I can't say that I care enough to do that, amazingly somewhere along the way I moved on and frankly I can barely remember the names of the people I went to high school with for four years. So I won't be going back because I don't have to go back and I'm not really interested in proving anything anymore and that is a relief. Now, my college 10 year reunion, I am so there, but then I really loved all of college and I can still remember the names of my classmates which is a plus. In the end, you can't go back again and sometimes that is a really good thing.
Posted by Kat at 5:09 PM
My sheer generalized hate of running however does not prevent me from getting on the treadmill everyday. Today, it was back on the treadmill for 50 minutes of running and 60 minutes of walking. I also lifted weights this morning so I think it works out to a little over two hours and 20 minutes of working out. I am still in the 160's so apparently it is not a fluke after all. My bro came down from the city for lunch with the parental units but we ate at home so I am still totally on plan. We have another family thing this week for birthdays but that should be fine food wise as well (well unless we make margaritas to go with the meal). Anyway, nothing else to really report or whine about right now, everything seems to be moving along nicely today. I admit that this is true because it is the first day of working out after a rest day, the rest of the week won't be nearly this much fun and at some point I guarantee that there will be whining, hey at least that is consistent.
Posted by Kat at 2:52 PM
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I've been messing around with BMI calculations again just for fun. I discovered a rather amazing fact, in 33.4 lbs I will weigh a normal weight for my height. That would be 136 lbs which isn't my final goal, my final goal at this point is 122-120 lbs which are numbers I like, but still I am surprised at how close that seems to be in reality. I know logically that I am more than halfway done with losing weight now that I have moved into the 160's but this is a reminder of how acheivable those goals really are in my life. I think it has not occurred to me because I am still waiting for a closer milestone, 163.7 lbs. Why 163.7 lbs? That number is when I cross over from obese into simply overweight, I haven't just been overweight in years and so I have been pretty fixated on that number recently. I try to divide this whole process up into acheivable goals, usually 10 lb increments, because 120 lbs is such an overwhelming number to try and go after all at once. I can focus on 10 lbs at a time quite well and just work on reaching the next mile marker. However, some times it does lead to tunnel vision and I don't see the whole picture like the fact that having lost 72 lbs means I have only 48 left to lose. Stopping to see the big picture for a few minutes is always nice and then I get back to the task at hand which is slowly inching the scale down another 10 lbs and out of the obese category. Someday though I'll pass 163.7 and then I'll really think about the next major mile marker of 136 and a normal weight, that will be a wonderful day but then there have been a lot of really good days in the last few months.
Posted by Kat at 5:14 PM
This morning I officially weighed in at 169.4. Now, I'm not sure this counts given my generally food problems yesterday but I am really hoping the scale likes me and ends up staying in the 160's. Today is my day off from working out and I really needed the rest, I think the cardio I am doing is actually good for me but it does wear me out. As a result of the day off, I already feel pretty much back to normal and not tired which is a good sign. Tomorrow I will be back into working out but at least today i can rest and recuperate a little bit. My plan today is to eat normally (as opposed to what I did yesterday) and organize a bunch of other things that need to get done. Fortunately, I have a pretty long stretch of regular food days stretching ahead of me, the only blips on the radar are my parents upcoming birthdays and a wedding in the begining of September. However, I do not think that any of these events will really derail me and I am begining to look ahead to early next year when I expect to be at goal weight. It has definately been a shift in my thinking from "maybe I will be able to lose the weight" to "I am going to lose the weight, it is just a matter of time" and now I know that it will happen as long as I keep exercising and stick to my plan. Anyway, now I am off to accomplish useful things and maybe drink some water since I haven't had any so far today.
Posted by Kat at 10:49 AM
Monday, August 16, 2004
The above of course being slang for aged parental units which is how my brother and I tend to refer to my parents. Possibly my parents should just blame Arthur Ransome since I believe we ran across the term in the Swallows & Amazons series of books (on a side note, some of the best kids books ever written, if you haven't read them, shame on you. Okay, maybe not shame on you since they are mostly out of print but you should go read them now). Anyway, the aged p's are home and so somehow in chatting to them I completely forgot to eat lunch. This fact means that so far today I have eaten the following, a protein bar type thingy for breakfast, one nectarine, one piece of mozarella cheese, and a cup of coffee. I have also had a lot of water over the course of the day. Okay, this is not good, this is not enough food, I am going to go eat things now. My dad is grilling steak for dinner and we are going to have salad but I am still going to be really low on calories for the day. Bad Kat, I really try hard to eat the right amount of calories every day and this sort of goes out the window when I forget a major meal, like say oh lunch. Anyway, I am going to go eat dinner now so that I will have had at least some calories today and then tomorrow I will be back on track.
Posted by Kat at 5:28 PM
An odd sentiment except for me because my workout week ends on Monday. This morning was brutal, I had an awful run until about 40 minutes in and then I had about two good minutes before it went back to being awful. Anyway, I ran for 50 minutes at a pace of 4.9 mph, walked for 60 minutes, lifted weights, and did an ab workout. Now I am making sure the house is clean because my parents come home from vacation in a couple of hours. Tomorrow is finally my day off from working out and I can rest my legs which are really tired, I keep getting cramps in them when I wake up each morning (although they are generally fine during the actual workouts) and it will be nice to have a day off. Hopefully, I will feel motivated again by Wednesday when the workout week starts all over again for me. So, I'm off to clean the house and make the cats somewhat presentable.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
So, I am really tired today, not enough sleep last night plus an early start this morning has just made me feel worn out. I keep telling my brain that after tomorrow it can take a whole day off from working out, and frankly the old grey matter is pretty excited about this concept. I have also told myself I will take tomorrow easy, and frankly this is a lie and I know it. In reality, I will push hard tomorrow because it is the last day before my day off and I like to get in a good hard cardio workout. So, in effect, I am messing with my own mind about what I am doing, which is frankly rather twisted on some level. Tonight, I am going to bed early because I checked the olympics coverage and there is nothing on I really care about so I am going to get some much need rest instead. This is especially important because I have run a lot this week, I think it works out to around 20 miles total (counting tomorrow) for the whole week which is a lot for me. My body is definately tired and soon will be in need of a recovery day, how some people can work out seven days a week is totally beyond me. Anyway, time to go clean up after the cats and do a couple of other chores and then shortly thereafter head to bed.
Posted by Kat at 6:04 PM
Okay, now I am stealing U2 lyrics as entry headings because I'm too lazy to think of my own. However, for the record, Joshua Tree is one of the great albums of all time. Anyway, moving onward, the olympics are screwing up my sleep schedule which isn't helping the workouts any. Even so, I am down to 171.2 lbs today which made me happy. I was up last night until after 11 pm watching the coverage and I probably will be up that late tonight as well, what can I say I really love the olympics. However, I did manage to get my very sleepy self out of bed at 6:47 am and out of the house by 7:20 am to go to the stadium. Of course, the stadium then wasn't opened up until a little after 8 am so I could have slept in longer but hey then I might not have gotten up. So, by 10:20 this morning I had finished the entire stadium, it was boiling hot and I got a little dizzy near the end despite drinking an entire 24 oz bottle of water. Then, I came home and cleaned up and went to the meat market where I bought a ridiculous amount of steak and baby back ribs, I guess I was feeling a bit peckish after all of the working out. Anyway, I'm not actually cooking the meat today, my parents come home tomorrow and I am hoping my dad will grill all the meat since I am not terribly good at cooking steak or ribs. However, for once there will be some food in the house when my parents return, normally they return to a completely empty refridgerator since I don't shop as much when they are gone. So, now off to get things accomplished.
Posted by Kat at 12:22 PM
Saturday, August 14, 2004
No, let me rephrase, I know I am weird but I think I'm weird when it comes to weightloss. Here's the thing, I have been reading a lot of random weight loss blogs and I have noticed a pattern, everyone loses control at some point (hey we're all human and I have definately lost control along the way) has a binge on foods they are trying to avoid and continues on their way after eating the candy/cake/or whatever. Everyone overeats occasionally which makes sense given the nature of the obsession which made a lot of us overweight in the first place, me included. My last binge, last week I ate a whole rather that half a bag of popcorn. My only real binge since starting this process over seven months ago, one party where I ate a lot of cheese and some cake. That party was back in May, there hasn't been a major slip up since. I just don't miss most of that food, I mean I have random cravings now and again but they don't last very long and I move on to other things. I think I am weird, I don't feel complacent, I don't feel deprived, this is just how I eat now. This is frankly odd for a girl who spent 26 years eating everything she could get her hands on and then going out and getting more. So, I thought maybe it wasn't just me and then I went and read a lot of stuff and I think I am strange and I wonder if I am in some weird Zen phase of weightloss which is going to come crashing down upon me in the near future. Then I think, a zen phase without cravings seven months into losing weight, c'mon that is ridiculous, any zen phase surely happened in the first few weeks. For example, as we all know I am entirely not zen about having to work out, how fast I lose weight, or the fact I am not a size 12 in dresses yet (although I am in pants, having worn my size 12 jeans all day buying a size 14 was a mistake because these are perfectly comfortable). However, I am zen about food, the thing I always thought would be the hardest about losing weight. This may explain why I haven't had ice cream, cake, candy, or bread other than croutons since May. Still maybe I am just weird and maybe I should be grateful about that, and I should definately stop rambling on now and go be active.
Posted by Kat at 5:36 PM
I really was going to do stairs today, really that was the plan. However, when I got to the stadium it wasn't open and there were people with balloons clearly organizing some run to take place on the track. I quickly decided that I didn't want to deal with lots of people and a crowded stadium, so I came home and ran for 60 minutes and then walked for 60 minutes on the treadmill. The good news? I developed a cramp early in my run so I walked for 20 seconds until it went away and then I went back to running at a pace of 4.9 mph, I accidentally set the pace too fast and I maintained that speed for the rest of my run. That means I ran for seven minutes at 4.8 mph and fifty-three minutes at a pace of 4.9 mph. Now, according to my treadmill that means I am still running a mile in about 12 minutes and 30 seconds but I am begining to believe that I have got a shot at running a 10 minute mile by the end of this coming month. However, my legs are really tired from running for four days in a row so I am hoping that I can actually do the stadium tomorrow which works slightly different muscles and oddly enough almost acts as a respite from running. Anyway, I'm off to get things accomplished for the day, in my size 12 jeans which are comfier than I realized, I really need to clean up and get rid of some food I never got around to eating out of the refrigerator. Anyway, I'll be back later but I doubt that is a surprise.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Have I mentioned how excited I am about the opening ceremony of the olympics tonight? I love everything about the olympics pretty much, not the least of which is the sheer awe of watching people do things which I will never physically acheive. I mean, let's be serious here, I will never be running down a track and hurling myself into the air using only a very long pole as a means of propulsion, never do you hear me. Anyway, I also really like watching the swimming races because hey what is not to like about attractive men in skimpy outfits, although the outfits have been getting progressively less skimpy over the years (I am thinking about being against that). So, very excited about the Olympics starting and in their honor I did finally develop the victory dance I mentioned in my earlier post, suffice it to say there was in fact some butt wiggling involved and gyration which might well have made Elvis Presley wince at the lack of coordination or musical ability involved. So, I figure tomorrow when I am working out I will think about all the olympians who have worked much harder to compete in these games as inspiration, yeah I know working out is still going to suck but every little bit of inspiration helps these days.
Posted by Kat at 5:11 PM
My apologies to Paul McCartney for absconding with one of his song lyrics but it seemed oddly apt to my thought process today, especially since I grew up listening to the Beatles rather a lot (well, the Beatles and Arlo and Woody Guthrie but song lyrics about motorcikles (yes, that is an intentional spelling)don't seem as appropriate). Anyway, I was thinking about the difference between me now and me at my highest weight, which led to a logical question, do I like myself today because of all the work I have done or because I am skinnier? I don't know, maybe it is a little of both but that seems like something of a cop out. I know I didn't like myself at 242 lbs, I can look at pictures and remember the self-loathing that often engulfed my mind and how I hated my body. Not that I admited that fact, denial is a large river in Egypt and I was the queen of it, riding up and down in my nift little papyrus raft of excuses and self validation. My motto at the time, when in doubt deny that you have a problem and sneak out for ice cream. Now, I can't deny the damage I did over time to myself, I see the stretch marks, I have the bat wings under my arms to prove it and probably another 6 months of work before I reach my goal weight. Still, I'm happier than I've been in years and I have a sneaking suspicion that part of it is because I have bought into the belief that thin equals happy, falacy though that may be in reality. I like that my body is strong, that when I look in the mirror I see my real face with cheekbones, occasionally acne flareups not withstanding. I don't know if my happiness comes from the discovery that I can be strong or because I no longer have to be strong in the same way, I don't get looks in stores or on streets, I don't worry that I will reach a size where the nice airline stewardess insists on giving me a seat belt extender, and I don't have to deny anything anymore. So, how much of all this is because I am skinny and how much is because I finally looked at myself in the mirror and started dealing with the problems I had created in my own life. I don't know, maybe I never will, and maybe that is okay. Maybe happiness and peace are hard enough comodities to come by that I should enjoy them while they are here. Oh, and no worries I will still be feeding myself when I am 64 and hopefully liking whatever I see in the mirror regardless of reason or self analyization.
This morning I hit 172 lbs right on the nose. I have now officially lost 70 of the 120 or so lbs that I am trying to lose. My next goal marker is at 170 lbs and then hopefully into the 160's where as we all know by now I will whine about not being in the 150's but hey a girl has to have habits. Now, if I could just learn to live with the fact that I have a plateau period every month and then a week like this week where I lose ridiculous amounts of weight all at once, maybe I would be less whiny. Anyway, I am pleased also because this is where I wanted to be when my parents got back from their vacation and they are getting back on Monday. I have of course worked out today, 50 minutes of running at 4.8 mph, 60 minutes of walking, 30 minutes of weights (legs and shoulders) and 10 minutes of abs. Then I drank a lot of water, although actually I also drank a lot of water while I was working out. Now it is on to doing laundry because I am out of clean workout clothes which is never a good thing. I may also be forced to do a little 70lbs lost dance at some point today but I haven't worked out any good steps yet, I am thinking however it will involve some kind of butt wiggling move because that is a prerequisite to all good victory dances. So, I am off and I may report in later today on how the whole dancing thing worked out and whether or not I managed to actually scare my cats by performing it.
Posted by Kat at 12:00 PM
Thursday, August 12, 2004
So, I did make it to dinner successfully without extra snackage along the way. I just had half a steak (which worked out to a correct portion size) with some avocado for my main dinner which was lovely. I love protein, it has an amazing ability to fill me up, oh and for the record I also had a banana and a piece of string cheese. I am actually impressed because I cooked this steak in nonfat cooking spray rather than butter and it was still really good. I was a little worried that it wouldn't taste right because of the spray but clearly they have improved the taste of cooking sprays since I was a kid. I am a little low on water for the day, despite drinking four glasses at lunch so I am going to drink some more before I go to bed and I should be fine. I am tired, there is a shock given the amount of cardio that I put in this morning, but tomorrow will be a little lighter on cardio and it is my last day of weights until Monday. Also, my whole family comes home next week which makes me happy since they have all been on vacation leaving me on my own for a few weeks. Anyway, I am off to clean up my house a bit and get organized before tomorrow, I didn't get everything done today that I wanted but I will make up for it in the next day or so. I exercised that is what really counts in the end, I mean you would almost think I was an athletic person the way that I make it a priority in my life.
Posted by Kat at 5:49 PM
Today I actually woke up a little late and started working out a little bit late. Then I got multiple phone calls while I was trying to run on the treadmill, the first one was about 15 minutes in and the second one was at about 25 minutes in to my run. However, I got back on the treadmill both times and started running again, so I managed to run for 60 minutes total today. After that I walked for an hour on the treadmill and then I walked into town with some family friends for lunch. I figure the walk into town from my house and then back again was about an hour total, 30 minutes in and 30 minutes back. I only had a salad for lunch and didn't eat all of it, there was a little bit too much dressing on it overall. The salad had walnuts and apples in it but no meat so I may end up starving later I am not really sure that it was enough food given all the exercise. However, I am not hungry right now so I am going to try and hold out to my regularly scheduled afternoon snack and see if I end up starving before then due to lack of protein. Anyway, at least I worked out, given all the distractions I was tempted to quit for a bit but I didn't want to slack on my cardio since I am now up to running at a pace of 4.8 mph, I would really like to be running a 10 minute mile in the next month or so because I may be running in a 5K and I would like to be able to run 3.1 miles in less than 40 minutes which is my current pace. So, that is one of my new exercise goals, speed up the running pace and generally increase the cardio difficulty over the next month. We shall just have to see what happens over the next few weeks.
Posted by Kat at 1:25 PM
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I am so not coherent today that I just posted a huge post that was not what I came here to write about today. Not that this is a bad thing but I keep forgeting to post about this topic and I mean to do so. Anyway, I love the Food Network and watch it all the time. I mean what is not to love about a network that devotes entire hours to barbeques or the invention and perfection of ice cream. Now, while I help my father barbeque (or more appropriately grill but I won't bore you with the distinction between grilling and barbequeing) I don't eat ice cream anymore or make most of the foods this network discusses in detail. However, I love the concept of the food network, the idea that cooking is a noble endeavour and making food is often better than eating out. Okay, maybe this isn't exactly their concept but more mine, however I think part of the reason Americans have gotten so fat as a group is that we don't make food anymore. Not really, everything is processed or microwaveable in five minutes. People forget about what truly fresh simple ingredients taste like when properly prepared by hand. My favorite example? The best salad ever which I have made ever since I was a kid, sliced mozzarella di buffalo cheese with fresh tomatoes sprinkled with a little salt and pepper and lightly doused in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. The best dish ever, and while not necessarily lo cal depending on how much cheese you use, still a lovely filling evening meal which can be prepared in five minutes and enjoyed immensely. The only really processed thing is the cheese and at one point in time that was done by hand by italian grandmothers (okay now it is probably made in a factory), anyway this process isn't like the artificial foods we usually eat. This is why I love the food network, they simplify the making of food and inspire us (okay maybe just me) to cook at home and avoid fast food. This has to be a good thing and so far it is working (at least for me). Anyway, I'm off to see what the food network is talking about now, I need good healthy dinner ideas.
Posted by Kat at 4:35 PM
I really mean to respond to the comments but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Bad Kat, I must work on that with more fervor in the future. However, for the record I don't actually run the stadium stairs as I may have accidentally suggested(I'm not in that kind of physical shape). I just walk up and down them very slowly and pant a lot, occasionally I come up with fun ways of torturing myself which would be better than climbing stadium stairs. If I could actually run the stairs it probably wouldn't take me a little over two hours ever time that I go to the stadium. Anyway, I workout a lot right now because I have time to work out a lot, and frankly I have just gotten used to working out this much. I think the body adjusts nicely to however much stress you put it under provided that you work up to it. Wow, that sentence is incoherent even for me. Anyway, what I meant to say (and this would have all been much faster if I had said this initially) is that I didn't start out doing this much exercise. I started with walking pretty slowly and using an eliptical for no more than an hour each day and no real free weights (those came much later). Oh, and for the record I am not currently motivated in anyway to do any of this, it is just habit at this point and I would feel incredibly guilty if I didn't get up and workout every morning. Frankly, I feel guilty on the day I take off, because I am so used to getting up and working out. So, no motivation whatesoever, just force of habit and fear that I will slip and gain weight back which is never going to happen if I have to run all day every day for the rest of my life. So, I am frankly impressed that my current lack of motivation is translating to motivating other people, very cool indeed. Although, to get back to where my post sort of started I am very inspired and grateful for the comments of everyone who writes here, even if I completely lack the ability to respond but frankly I am the girl who forgets to answer her own e-mail. I'm pretty much an equal opportunity slacker when it comes to my internet and personal correspondence (just ask my long time friends who I haven't e-mailed back yet). So, in a completely incoherent and rambling fashion, thanks for reading and know that I do read my comments and love them even if I don't always respond.
Posted by Kat at 4:16 PM
I always feel ridiculously smug after I have worked out in the morning. I think it must be the knowledge that I don't have to work out again until the next day and that I have sweated off some of the calories that I ate the day before knowing I was going to workout soon. Anyway, today I ran for 50 minutes at a pace of between 4.6 mph and 4.7 mph and managed to prove to myself that I should be running at this speed or faster all the time. I have been slacking off on increasing the difficulty of my cardio workouts recently, I get comfortable and then don't increase the pace. I also walked for 60 minutes, again at a faster pace than I have been walking recently which hopefully helped keep up my heartrate. Then weights for 30 minutes where I increased the repetitions, again something which I have been putting off recently. I am definately getting too comfortable with my workout and when that happens I have to shake everything up so that my body is doing actual work during the exercising, I forget how easy it is to adjust to a certain workout and not really be increasing my fitness level. However, in good news, today I was at 173.8 lbs so I am continuing to lose weight even if my workouts have not been great recently. I am good on food as well, although admitedly I have only had breakfast and a huge glass of water so far today, but I am planning a salad for lunch and either steak or a burger without the bun for dinner so I should be just fine for the rest of the day as well, we shall see how it goes over the course of the afternoon.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
So, my body has developed this strange ability in the past few months. The ability to say to my brain "hey you stop eating now, I mean it" and I do stop eating. It is a wonderous strange thing to not eat more than makes you hungry without even thinking about it. The best recent example, my salad today for lunch had a ton of avocado in it, I think I put in half of a large avocado when I was making it because I was starving at the time. Now, we all know how much I love avocados. However, despite my insatiably love for the California Haas Avocado, my body filled up on salad really quickly and I ended up throwing away half of the avocado which I had put in the bowl. I think maybe I wasn't clear in that last sentence so once again, I threw 1/4 of an avocado down the disposal today. This is truly insanity for me. Yesterday, I had made popcorn as part of my dinner and I threw away three quarters of the bag, but this is not as mind blowing as the trashing of part of an avocado. Now, I am still losing weight pretty slowly despite this ability but I am okay with that fact. I am down to 174.2 as of today and hoping to be into the 173's by sometime next week. Hey, it may even be faster if I keep throwing food out right and left, although I am not sure that my soul will let me throw out any more avocado I may have to start storing the excess in a little baggie in the fridge although that can mess with the flavor of the wonderous green fruit. Now I just need to convince my body to drink more water and I will be doing really well on food for the week.
Posted by Kat at 6:42 PM
Today I went and bought new jeans because my size 16 jeans are literally falling off my rear. Not an attractive picture to be presenting in public. By the way, I may fall in love with the Gap because they have jeans which are the right length for me, a minor miracle when you are my height. Anway, because jeans are strange I bought both a slightly loose size 14 to wear right now and a size 12 that fits but is slightly tight. Not so tight as to be unwearable but just tight enough that I want to wait a few pounds until I am wearing them full time. I am considering them measurement pants for now because I need another pair of clothing that I could measure my size in rather than relying solely on the scale. All of this means that I can now retire three more pairs of pant and get the last size 16's out of my closet for good which makes me happy. I also finally went to the store so now I have salad dressing, meat, and bananas which should get me through most of the week, I will probably shop one more time before my parents get home next monday. I am really low maintainance on food most of the time, I can eat the same thing over and over again so it doesn't bother me if there isn't tons of food in the house. However, my goal is to cook all the meat I got today so it is done and I can just pick and choose what I am eating for the next few days when I am tired and don't want to cook. Today I don't have to work out so I have extra free time to accomplish chores that I haven't been dealing with such as food shopping and buying jeans that fit.
Posted by Kat at 11:46 AM
Monday, August 09, 2004
My cats are having separation anxiety, or something similar. I don't live in the same house that they do, so I am in and out during the day to check on them and change water, food, and kitty litter. Ever since my parents left, over a week ago now, they have been hurling themselves at me and demanding to be loved. Cats everywhere are embarassed by this behavior which is in no way related to the famed feline ability to be aloof. Right now, the older cat is trying to sit on my hands while I type this entry, it is making it rather difficult. Anyway, I didn't make it to the market today because I was hungry and I absolutely refuse to go to the store when I am hungry because then I will buy bad things. Okay, I wasn't hungry all day, but there was a whole section of the day where I wasn't motivated to go to the store, I was hungry during the brief moment I had actual motivation to shop. However, believe it or not I was okay on food, I had forgotten I had veggie burgers in the freezer so I had one for lunch and I finished off my chicken breast in my salad for dinner. Now, the reason I had forgotten about the veggie burgers is because my parents keep frozen bread in the freezer so I avoid it at all cost and never open the door except under duress. Clearly, the lack of food in the house qualified as one of those occasions. Tomorrow, I am actually going to have to go shopping because now I have some eggs, three lite yogurts, and a couple of veggie burgers in the house. Also, I have run out of lettuce and my favorite salad dressing which is a really bad thing in my life. So, hopefully by tomorrow morning I will have a desparate need for healthy food which will function as motivation, we shall see what happens. Also, I am still not eating enough calories and I am really working on that, it is a new and unique problem. I used to eat tons of food when I was the only person around and now I am eating too little, I suppose that this is proof that I still have problems with food but I haven't really been hungry recently which is probably related to the nice cold that I am developing despite the fact that it is the middle of summer. Anyway, off to feed the cats which will no doubt result in them hurling themselves at me in a shameless ploy to stop me from leaving the house, unfortunately it won't work but you probably shouldn't tell them that, my felines can develop enough abandoment complexs on their own.
Posted by Kat at 5:51 PM
I have to say that my first thought when I woke up this morning was that I should never announce on this blog that I am going to do certain things because then I have to do them. Then I stumbled out of bed, put on my shoes and went to the stadium like I said I would to make up for the fact it wasn't open on time yesterday. I was good right, and I probably wouldn't have gone if I had not said that I would here. See, the internet is a good and useful weight loss tool after all. However, the stadium was pretty hard this morning because I am definately coming down with something, I still have a rasp in my throat which I notice especially when working out and breathing hard. Anyway, I spent two hours at the stadium and then came home and lifted weights and did an ab workout. That worked out to 2.5 hours of exercise which was a little excessive but tomorrow is my day off so I can recover. Also, they didn't tow my car while I was working out which was nice, I always worry during the week because to use the stadium you have to park in what is technically permit parking and the university could tow you if they felt so inclined. Now, I doubt very much that they actually would, especially since they know that people park in that lot so they can use the stadium but I still worry. I have images of walking out of the stadium and discovering that my mother's car (which I am currently driving) has disappeared and I have to get it out of an impound lot just because I decided to climb stairs for two hours on a Monday morning. I should find something more constructive to worry about like the future of the Middle East but that is too complicated for my brain when I am exercising.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Largely due to the fact that it leads to things like eating a bag of popcorn for dinner. Okay, I might also have some yogurt but I am really sleepy and the only thing I wanted was popcorn. Not the most nutritionally balanced meal, but lunch and breakfast were fine and I missed my afternoon snack so one bag of popcorn won't kill me. Tomorrow I am going food shopping, because all I have left in the house is a cooked chicken breast and some eggs. I tend to do this when it is only me, I just don't keep very much food around and I don't eat as much as I normally should be consuming. This is bad, especially given the amount of exercise that I normally do during the day. However, I refuse to even attempt perfection at this late date, my life is all about sanity right now and occasionally that means popcorn and yogurt for dinner and maybe less food than I should have, or alternatively more food than I should be eating. Tomorrow will be a better day and overall I get better all the time and what more can I ask for at this point.
Posted by Kat at 5:46 PM
So, I went to the stadium this morning, at 7:30 am like I always do on Sunday. The stadium wasn't open (it has a gate that the university locks overnight). I waited until 8:10 am, technically they don't have to open it up until 8 am but it is always open early, and the stadium still wasn't open. I was highly annoyed, I get into a mindset where I am going to do a certain kind of exercise and it is really hard to switch gears in my brain. So, I drove home, admittedly only 10 minutes away, muttering curses at the stadium gods under my breath. Then, I ran for 60 minutes and walked for 50 minutes on the treadmill which I followed up with my core fitness exercises. Now, showered and dressed in clean clothing I am still annoyed than I didn't get in my stadium workout. I am one sick puppy. I am annoyed that I didn't get to climb up and down stairs for two hours in the heat, possibly I should look into having my head examined. I may go tomorrow morning and do the stadium so that I have gone three times in this last workout week but I will see how I feel, especially since I am having a slight sore throat this morning. So, to recap, I am annoyed about not hiking up and down stairs in the heat with a sore throat at a ridiculously early hour on a Sunday morning. I really am losing my mind to the lure of the exercise fairy, maybe I can have her talk to the stadium gods and make sure it is open tomorrow morning.
Posted by Kat at 11:02 AM
Saturday, August 07, 2004
That is probably a truly horribly constructed phrase and my mother the teacher will be terribly embarrassed when she reads it. Then again maybe not, she hasn't been horribly embarrassed by my inability to spell on this blog. Anyway, that was completely off topic, but there we are (can you tell I am making up for the days I didn't blog? yeah I thought so) and now I will attempt to get back to my point. My point was going to be that I bought a really cute outfit from the gap this last week and my thought upon putting it on was the aforementioned phrase "I would so date me" which was interesting. Now generally, I am not stuck up or really focused on my appearance, and frankly there wasn't much point at my highest weight. Well, other than shoes, I really care what my shoes look like and always have but I doubt that shocks anyone. However, I care a lot more now about what my clothes look like and the image that I am projecting, now of course as I am writing this I am wearing a pair of jeans that are pretty much falling off my butt and a huge shirt covered in cat hair which I have kept because my bro gave it to me, I mean he gave me the shirt, not the cat hair. So, possibly I am once again full of it, but I think not. I am having ridiculous amounts of fun playing with clothes now because I can shop in regular stores and wear clothing that reflects my personal style. The outfit that caused me to want to date myself involved a cute shruken jeans jacket that nipped in at the waist and a size 12 brown skirt. The amazing thing to me, the jacket nipping in at the waist, defined my shape, I mean I have an actual shape which has never happened before. It was definately a very interesting moment, marred only my deep desire to tell the sales lady that no really I was buying the clothes for me and I was an actual size 12 (frankly I don't think she would have cared as long as I gave her money). I still don't like what I look like naked (yes that was probably way too much information) but sometimes in clothing I catch myself in the mirror and notice that I am cute now. Eventually I may even work my way up to being hot, who knows.
Posted by Kat at 4:50 PM
So, I was at the stadium this morning at a ridiculously early hour this morning. I was about three quarters of the way done, maybe more, when I started going up a set of stairs that another girl was coming down. Usually, I don't really notice the other people working out, I just put my head down and go until I am finished. However, I noticed her because I used to be her. She was plus-sized, clearly out of breathe and having to stop frequently on both her way up the stairs and down again. Also, she gave me a look I recognized, the "I hate that you are cruising up these stairs which are killing me" look. I was not exactly moving fast but it was faster than her. I almost stopped, and maybe I should have, to tell her I have delivered that precise look to other people more times than I can count, that I know what it feels like to be that out of breath and unfit, and how angry I was about all of those things. Now, I may be projecting my issues on to her body and life and I hope that I am doing that and she is actually happier than she looked when I saw her this morning. However, I do know that I looked at her and saw who I was in January, who I no longer am in a lot of ways and I was grateful to be who I am now. Also, I know I needed the reminder of where I have come from because my motivation hasn't been great recently. The one blessing and curse of the weight loss process is the ability to forget what it was like to live in my old body, I have become used to my new one. The body that doesn't mind running, doesn't get winded as easily and doesn't get sneered at by strangers. Still, rembering the old body which hated to exercise and looked truly awful to me is important so I don't get complacent about where I am in my journey. I still have a long way to go, but at least I am not the girl I used to be anymore.
Posted by Kat at 1:22 PM
I finally figured out my internet problem and I am back to having access from my house. I am such a happy girl, I cannot even explain it. Anyway, I haven't slacked while I wasn't posting. Thursday, I ran for 60 minutes and walked for 50, friday I ran for 50 minutes, walked for 50 and lifted weights and did an ab workout. This morning I went to the stadium and did the whole thing, 36 sets of stairs. It was pretty warm this morning so I sweated like crazy while I was going up and down the stairs and now I am washing my workout clothes. Last night I did go out to dinner but I was relatively good, I had a small bowl of cold melon soup (didn't finish it) and a salad with flank steak, olives and feta (which I also couldn't finish). I did eat a whole bag of popcorn yesterday but I still lost weight so I can't really bring myself to worry about that right now. I am down to 174.6 lbs as of this morning which means that in 2.6 lbs I will have lost 70 lbs total. I am looking forward to hitting that goal in the next few weeks, although maybe I should stop wolfing down entire bags of popcorn. Anyway, I have been a good girl for the past few days and still on track which is what really matters. I am going to go get a huge glass of water now and catch up on my internet reading but I will probably be back later on today at some point.
Posted by Kat at 10:14 AM
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I keep getting kicked off the computers here, by really obnoxious people. Anyway, I did the stadium today and weights, which was about 2 hours and 30 minutes of exercise. Fine on food, and nothing else to report. I have no more time here at the library due to the obnoxious people so I am going to head home and hope that the cable people I saw on my street have potentially fixed my internet. I am not holding my breathe about that being a reality. Anyway, short entry today but I don't have the patience to stay here and deal with the computers or the people.
Posted by Kat at 11:01 AM
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I write an awful lot here if I am already to 100 posts but then I do talk a lot in my regular life. Anyway, today is my day off from working out so I went to the mall and bought underwear. Losing weight is definately expensive because I keep having to replace all sorts of basic wardrobe items like bras, underwear, and all of my clothing. I had to buy all new stuff in the end of May and now I am buying more items two months later. I am finally out of my plateau today and down to 175.4 lbs finally, that puts me at 3.4 lbs away from having lost 70 lbs since I started back in January. Somedays I am definately surprised when I put on clothing and look at the size on the label, I haven't worn a size 12 since I was maybe a freshman or sophomore in highschool but I am now solidly a size 12 on the bottom. I also find I am more confident than I used to be in all areas of my life just because I have conquered so many personal demons to lose the weight. I have been driving a lot recently and I used to hate driving the car but it doesn't bother me now. Confidence is definately a wonderful thing and something I never realized I was lacking until recently, so that is my realization for the day.
Posted by Kat at 12:17 PM
Monday, August 02, 2004
I probably won't have internet at my house until my parents get home in two weeks. I am very annoyed, but yet addicted to my blog so here I am posting from the library. Hey, it gets me out of the house and that is always good for me. Anyway, I ran for 50 minutes, walked for 40, and did weights and abs today. I have ended up in a dreaded plateau which means I am holding at 176 which is much better than being at 242 but still annoying. Yesterday to cheer myself up I went and picked a ton of fresh tomatoes from my neighbor's yard, they were really fabulous and juicy and much better than store bought. Tonight I am going to have tomatoes and steak which should be lovely. Anyway, nothing else exciting to report, and I keep having library patrons look over my shoulder which is remarkably disconcerting so I am going to go home now and eat lunch and entertain my cats who are miffed that my parents are not around to be harrassed. I probably won't post again until tomorrow given my internet problems.
Posted by Kat at 11:44 AM
Sunday, August 01, 2004
I think I have time for a little bit longer post. I did 36 sets of stairs today and yesterday at the stadium, all by myself because my parents are on vacation. I am not huge on doing stuff like that on my own but if I don't do it I have no one else to blame when I go off plan. In the end it has to be all about you doing it yourself or it won't happen. I mean that is the problem with weight loss right, there is no one else who can do your work and no magic pill. Oh, and by the way I wanted to mention I did put my bigger clothes away, if by put away one can mean stored in the plastic bag going to goodwill sometime this week. Goodwill should love me, I keep donating slightly used clothing to them on a bimonthly basis. Anyway, now I really have to go, I am starting to get nasty looks from other library patrons and I don't technically even have a library card anymore. I will try and post tomorrow or later today but I am not promising anything.
Posted by Kat at 1:32 PM