Just checking in

Over the past three days I have managed to run 9 miles. I am becoming one of those strange people who runs three miles everyday. I am still waiting for the point where I really enjoy it but I think really I am always going to like bits of it and not all of it. I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday and it occurs to me that the reverse is also true. This is to say, that there are people (including all of my close college friends) who have never seen me at any weight under 200 lbs. That is slightly odd to me, obviously I could post pictures here but I don't think it is appropriate because of my job. Anyway, I started this entry at 7 am and it is now after 11 and I need to focus on work. I was down to 160 lbs this morning which was my goal for this week.

Deep thoughts

I was thinking about something this morning as I was working out at my gym. In a nutshell, I was thinking about the fact that no one here has ever know me as the person I was in January of 2004. January of 2004 is my line in the sand if you will, it is when I began working out and eating right and for the first time in so many tries it stuck. In January of 2004 I was at least 242 pounds and really I probably weighed more that 242 lbs. I was a completely different person, physically, emotionally, in every way. No one here really knew that person. I was thinking about that this morning because I was running on the treadmill and every step I took was awful, my muscles are really sorry and they were cramping up on me. So, I made myself a deal, I would run for five minutes and see if it still hurt, if it still hurt I would stop running and move to the eliptical machine. In minute three my muscles were sufficiently warmed up (and yes I warm up before I start running) that the cramps faded away and I kept running. It was not a great run, but it was a thirty minute run which I would never have done in December of 2003. I would have stopped because it would be too hard and I would have given up. People in my office tease me about my fanatical devotion to the gym which includes getting up at 4:40 am every single morning during the week. They laugh at my insistence that the "food table" which usually has donuts and cookies on it, does not exist and is a fiction of my imagination. They worry about the fact I spend every lunch hour at my desk and never go out to eat. They see the healthy person and never saw the fat girl. More and more, I see that girl too, but I am still learning how to be that person. I'm learning that I am okay sticking with my salads and how much I love salads with apples and walnuts. I'm learning how to dress myself without hiding parts of myself for the first time. I'm learning to like exercise and how much better I feel when I run and my body is active. I'm learning to be okay with the choices I make each day and with the person I see in the mirror everyday. Most of all, I'm learning how to talk about who I was, who I am now, and how to make peace with the journey I have taken over the past couple of years.

A brief check in

If you ever thing that you do not need to change up your weight workout every few weeks, well my rear and thighs would like to argue with you. Oh ow, I changed my leg and arm workout yesterday and today I am very sore. Basically I added an extra stretch on my lunges and a slight extension on my squats by finishing them off by standing on my tiptoes. Then I ran this morning which has no doubt increased the soreness. The first five minutes of running was hell on earth because even with a warm-up, one of my legs cramped up. However, it did improve and I managed 30 minutes. On Sunday I hit 161 so I am on target again. Work is very stressful right now so I am just trying to stay on plan and on track, so far it is working.

The weekend

This is my weekend to work so I am actually at the office. Yesterday despite feeling really exhausted and out of sorts I did actually manage to run for thirty minutes on the treadmill at 5.5 mph. So, I ran 4 out of 5 days this week and added an extra hour and 30 minutes of cardio into my schedule. I am still holding at 161.5 but I am wearing a size 10 dress and I am going to have to get rid of one of my size 12 suits because it is too large, so I cannot complain. I went out for drinks last night with my friends from work and as a result I never had dinner. I don't think large amounts of popcorn really count as a meal which is what we were served at the bar. Today is my day off from any sort of exercise which as always comes at the best time in the week because I am exhausted and tired from a very stressful work week. I am going to take the weekend easy because I expect Monday will be long and hard given the amount of work which is begining to pile up on my desk.

Conference girl

Tuesday and Wednesday of this week I was at a conference for my continuing legal education. I have some thoughts now that I am back at regular work. First, why do these sorts of events always serve pastries for breakfast? I swear there was not a piece of fruit within five miles of the conference room in the morning. I skipped all the baked goods and had coffee instead (I brought my own breakfast snack). Second, when did buffet lunches become an excuse for people to see how much food they can put on their plates? The one day they served lunch, I stuck to salads and a piece of chicken. I have grapefruit for desert, because in an odd move there was fruit at lunch. This clearly proves that the hotel had fruit in the building and could have served it at breakfast but I digress. The one great benefit of the conference was that it started at 8:30 am which meant I did not have to get to the hotel which is about 10 minutes from my apartment until a little after 8 am. So, I had an extra 30 minutes to workout. Tuesday and Wednesday I did 90 minutes of cardio instead of just 60. Today, since I am back on my normal schedule I did 75 minutes of cardio including 30 minutes of running at 5.5 mph. This week I have already run 3 times at 5.5 mph, maybe I will run tomorrow and make it 4 days for this first time in a long time. Running is definately getting easier and even though there was no air conditioning I actually felt pretty decent during the run. I hit 161.5 today on my scale, not sure how accurate it is but at least it is a move in the right direction.

Monday rambling

This morning, I put aside all my lovely little excuses and ran at 5.5 mph for 30 minutes. I always think it qualifies as a good workout when you feel mildly ill at the end of it. Mostly, this was a challenge to myself since I can never make myself run on Mondays for some reason and I always feel guilty about it. So, I ran and then I used the eliptical machine and kicked up the resistence level on that by 1 level as well. A bottle of water and an energy bar later, I feel almost normal now. I was attempting to make up for a party I went to last night at one of my co-worker's houses, even though I did manage my food reasonably there and skipped the desert. Saturday morning despite my copious whining I hit 162 on the nose and though after the weekend I have climbed slightly to 162.5. So, I figure that I am still averaging my 1lb loss a week which is all that I am aiming for in the long term. I can maintain a pound loss a week, more than that is hard for me to maintain in the long run. Oh, I decided that I am not setting mini-goals this week, I am just trying to live up to all my previous goals and working on generally increasing the difficulty of my workouts. We will see how that goes for this week.

I live on a tropical island and other excuses.

There was no running this morning. Want to know why? I live on a tropical island. Okay, maybe I should elaborate on that statement. I live on a tropical island and when the air conditioning is broken at the gym, I do not run. My gym rather resembled a small sauna this morning, and even though I have long ago adjusted to the heat here, I am not quite to the level of enthusiam required to run in a sauna for 20 or 30 minutes. The eliptical machine and I bonded this morning instead for a solid hour. I did however have a smaller cup of coffee this morning than normal, which I think can be considered as a small victory. I lifted weights last night and have a sore left shoulder to prove it, I think that must be due to poor form rather than intense lifting on my part. My body has entered the 163 plateau this week and is holding on for dear life, so I am just focusing on staying on plan and not worrying about it right now. 163 is a lot better than 173 which is where I was a little over a month ago, and way better than 250 where I start a year and a half ago, so I am not going to complain. Oh, and I am wearing suit pants that are too large which is always enjoyable, so overall life is good and what else can you really ask for on a friday. Plus, I live on a tropical island with all the beautiful white beaches and lush jungles I could ever want to explore.

Mini-Goal Review

1. 4 16 oz bottles of water a day and no soda-Yup, this one is still easy and has been accomplished. Once I got the soda out of the house it was easy to just drink water instead because there is not anything else available except for the soy milk for my cereal in the morning. 2. Drink less coffee (note the non-specificity, I'm just trying to cut down a little on caffine). I am not really managing well on this durring the week because I work in an office which feels like the artic tundra in the middle of a really bad cold snap. Therefore, I am going to start by eliminating coffee on weekends and drinking smaller cups of coffee in the morning on weekdays. I only have one cup of coffee a day so that is good. 3. Run 3 or more times this week (I think three times may be my limit) I ran this morning so that means I have actually accomplished this goal although I will probably try to run tomorrow as well. I have managed to work myself back up to 30 minutes of running and now I am working at getting back up to running the whole thing at about 5.5 mph (I am only running 15 minutes at 5.5 mph right now and the rest at 5.3 to 5.4 mph). 4. Lift weights 4 times this week. Once I lift weights tonight, this goal will be done for the week. It is pretty easy now that I have scheduled myself to lift weights on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I need to buy heavier and lighter weights this weekend because I only havy one set of 10 lb weights and I need more variety available for my workouts. 5. Have one really hard workout day-An attempt to ramp up how hard I workout. I am counting today as my hard workout day, I ran for 30 minutes and then did a pretty tough hill climb workout on the eliptical machine for another 20 minutes, plus I am lifting weights when I get home tonight. 6. Cut down on mayo-I really love mayo but I am trying to eliminate it from my diet again. So far, I have eaten no mayo this week, and I really need to remove it from my fridge so it is not sitting there taunting me to eat it. 7. Eat salad at lunch 2 times this week-here we go with cutting bread entirely out of my diet again. I brought salad for lunch today and I will probably have a salad on Saturday as well. I also had salad last night for dinner. I would have salad tomorrow but I don't want to go to the store to buy more lettuce today (I am basically out) and a co-worker is bringing in lunches tomorrow as a fundraiser for his son's school (the lunches involve chicken so I am just going to eat that bit and leave what does not fit in my diet). 8. No bread with dinner. This is pretty easy because I bought another roast chicken and I have been eating that and the fruit and vegetables in my house.

Catching my breath

This is the first time today I have really had a moment to catch my breath. I ran for 30 minutes this morning, along with another 25 minutes on the eliptical machine. Then I discovered that there was no hot water at my gym and ended up taking a freezing cold shower before going to work. I have been working ever since I got into the office at 7 am this morning. I spent all morning in court which always messes with my day in terms of getting paperwork done. Tonight, I am going to lift weights and then get to bed early because I am exhausted. Hopefully, I will still feel motivated enough to run tomorrow and make it three days in a row. We will see what happens tomorrow.

This is my day

This is how my day has gone so far, and it is only noon. Wake up with a horrible headache, stagger into the bathroom and take two pain pills. Forget to take pain pills to work in case needed later in the day. Go to the gym, run at a slowish pace due to combination of exhaustion and headache remnants. Use the eliptical machine, shower, go and buy coffee. Get asked the same question three times at the coffee store until actually realize the employees are speaking to you (helpful if only person in the shop at this point). Go to work, write two motions by 9 am and deal with very peeved co-worker about work issue. Decide you cannot live with your very messy desk so clean it off and discover many things which should have been previously dealt with only they got buried in mounds of paperwork. Make a molestation victim cry. Manage all this by 11 am at which time the headache has returned only without the pain medication option. Other than that I am fine and at least it is lunch time, so I am going to imbibe copious amounts of water now and see if that helps. Plus, I ran this morning and that it one day of running complete which is always a good thing.

Skinny Pants

Friday was bad in terms of food, I went out after work with co-workers and had bad food (which we can blame on the alcohol I drank). However, I was back on plan by Saturday morning and back at the gym this morning. Last night I lifted weights and did lots of lunges and squats, I really hate lunges by the way. Today, I am wearing my size 10 slacks which is nice, these are the slacks I bought 8 months ago, put them on every couple of weeks and then took them off because they were too tight and put them away. They are slightly tight still but definately wearable now, it is almost like buying new clothes without having to spend actual money. Anyway, now on to my goals for the week: 1. 4 16 oz bottles of water a day and no soda 2. Drink less coffee (note the non-specificity, I'm just trying to cut down a little on caffine) 3. Run 3 or more times this week (I think three times may be my limit) 4. Lift weights 4 times this week 5. Have one really hard workout day-An attempt to ramp up how hard I workout 6. Cut down on mayo-I really love mayo but I am trying to eliminate it from my diet again 7. Eat salad at lunch 2 times this week-here we go with cutting bread entirely out of my diet again 8. No bread with dinner I think that is enough for this week, more than that will be hard to manage and remember over the week. In terms of my weight goal, I am going for being 162 solidly this week which would be about 1 lb this week. I bounced up to 163 after Friday but I'm pretty sure I will get down to 162 by the end of this week. Okay, off to work I go since it is now after 8 am.

Two down, four to go

Hah, two goals down already this week. I ran again this morning so that is one goal done. I lifted weights 4x this week so that is also done. Done is good to quote a famous saying from my college. Today, food is going to be a problem. There is a work function for lunch and I anticipate there being ridiculous amounts of food in the office. I am just going to try and be really careful because this is not something that I can skip. Normally I would cook for something like this, but I am not baking things right now because I don't want the temptation brought into my apartment. I think bringing chocolate into my house would be a really bad idea. I contributed monetarily instead to the lunch. Oddly enough when I start baking a lot, it is generally a sign that I am completely off plan and need to reign in my eating habits as quickly as possible. I wonder if there is a bakers anonymous program somewhere I could join (just kidding). So, lunch will be a problem and then there is another party this afternoon which will also be a problem. I shall get through it somehow I am sure of that fact. Anyway, I am off to court now.

The road to recovery

I feel better today, not 100 percent but better. Last night I felt very yucky so my weight workout at home was rather abbreviated, but the important thing is that I did actually lift weights. This morning I took it a little bit easy and ran very slowly at 5.2 mph (my normal speed is at least 5.5 mph). I was only going to run for 15 minutes but ended up feeling okay at the 15 minute mark so I ran for 25 minutes instead. I did five minutes of warm up and five minutes of cool down on the treadmill and then 25 minutes on the eliptical machine. Last night I did not think that I would be able to run three times this week, now I think I will probably make that goal by tomorrow which is my last running day. In comparison to the running, everything else has been easy to do this week. Mostly though, I am pleased with myself for sticking with the exercise this week, it would have been really easy to skip it based on how awful I felt. Even so I will be glad when this week is over and I can sleep in and rest up for next week.

Can you sense the theme?

In case you are wondering, the theme for this week on my blog is the following: Kat feels ill. Yup, day three of whining about feeling mildly sick is now commencing without delay. I actually took tylenol this morning before I went to the gym which is unusual for me since I only take medication as a very last resort (I never said I made intelligent decisions). Then after I sort of worked out, there was no running only a hour of not terribly hard eliptical work, I went to the store to see if I could get a thermometer and check my temperature. Nope, none to be had which is not surprising given the way shopping on this island works. Then I went to work and a cup of coffee and a bottle of water later I feel sort of functional. We will see how the day goes. I am still on plan, no slips on food which is probably solely due to the fact that I discovered that one of the supermarkets I frequent sell roasted chickens. This means I can eat chicken for dinner along with things like tomatoes and not really have to cook. This week that is really fabulous due to the fact by the end of the day I feel icky and almost totally non-functional. Oh, on the plus side, I am down to 162.5 on the scale today which indicates that I am pretty well on track since my goal for this week was to be 163. Okay, must go and find klennex now for my nose.

Dr. Kat's Wellness Prescription

This is the Kat method of dealing with a cold (I am thinking of patenting it someday). Feel horrible all day, so bad that you inform defense counsel that you may be out of the office sick in the next few days. Stay until 5 pm and then go run errands rather than going directly home and sleeping. Go home, read a magazine for 1.5 hours and then lift weights for 20 minutes. Somewhere in there have your one soda for the day due to the fact you feel like crap. Go to bed an hour later than normal for no good reason at all. Wake up at 4:40 am and reflect on the fact you still have a cold and breathing through your nose is not really working. Go to the gym. Remember on the way that one of your goals for the week is to run during three workouts. So, start out the morning running intervals on the treadmill. Do not do nice easy intervals due to feeling bad and the aforementioned cold. No, run at 6 mph for five minutes, walk 1 minute at 3.8 mph and repeat until you have run for a total of 25 minutes. Then cool down on the treadmill, wipe off any germs you got on it, and hop on the eliptical machine for another 25 minutes. This means with 10 minutes for warm up and cool down, total cardio time is 65 minutes. Then go shower, buy a latte and go to work (which will be air conditioned so you will have wet hair and freezing cold temperatures). Yeah, this was a really excellent plan for the morning. I think we should all be glad I am a lawyer and not a doctor, we will all live longer because of that fact.

I feel icky

I think I am coming down with a cold, I have all the initial signs, sore throat, headache, and a generally bad disposition. So, I went to the gym anyway this morning. I'm one of those people who will always go the gym unless I am really, really not feeling well. I am drinking a lot of water, although I don't think the large cup of coffee I just had qualifies as being helpful for a cold. Anyway, I have set new goals for this week which are as follows: 1. Only 1 soda a day (I only have three left in my fridge when they are gone there is no more soda coming into the house) 2. Four 16 ounce bottles of water a day (as opposed to just at work because I am not drinking enough water at home) 3. Bread 1x with dinner. 4. Coffee only in the morning. 5. Weights 4x a week. 6. Run 3x this week. I think that is enough for the week. I have an entire shelf in my fridge filled with water bottles. That's right people, an entire shelf of water. I had to reorganize my fridge to fit it all. On the plus side, I bought a dress this weekend which was size 10 and found another size 10 dress that I really liked but did not buy because it was rather expensive and not practical for work. Eventually I will have to get rid of my whole wardrobe again and drop down a size but I have about a month and a half minimum before that becomes an issue. Anyway, off to work I go again.

Scale games

Yesterday was a holiday here, so my gym was closed. So, no cardio because it was also raining all day long and I had no desire to go and run in torential rains. However, I did lift weights, thus completing one mini-goal, four days of weight (I also lifted on Wednesday). I had a wrap for dinner last night which is the first bread at dinner this week. I will make that mini-goal as well since I am only counting the week through Saturday (I start my workout week on Sunday so I count weeks from there). Other than yesterday, I have been drinking all my water, yesterday I was really lazy about it but I only had 1.5 sodas so that was okay. Oh, and I did run twice this week, once on Monday and once on wednesday. Anyway, I have also moved my scale in my apartment from my bedroom back to the bathroom. Now, this sounds like a small thing but my bedroom is carpeted and thus I weight two pounds less on the scale in there as opposed to the bathroom which is tile. As of this morning, my official weight is thus 164 lbs. Now, I moved the scale originally because I liked believing that I weighed two pounds less than I actually do in reality. If denial is a river in Egypt, I have been approaching a large lake in Africa for the last 9 months on actual weight loss reality. So, in the spirit of being actually focused on what I need to accomplish over the next 6-12 months I moved the scale back. This is the part that makes weight loss really difficult, the head games, if it was easy mentally we could all manage the physical part. Where people fail has way more to do mind tricks than food or exercise. So, the scale had to go back to the bathroom.

Earning it

Fergie from the music group the Black Eyed Peas said the coolest thing in a magazine (please I read everything, I already told you this fact). As I recall, what she said was "I believe you earn your self esteem and one way I earn mine is by working out." I read that and thought, yes that is it exactly. Actually, the whole interview was cool because it was a celebrity (in a position to really influence young woment) saying that she has to watch what she eats and work out to achieve the body she has right now, and if she does not eat right, hey she gains weight. I am completely stealing the above statement and using it from now on to explain why I work out. Part of my ability to look at myself in the mirror and be happy is the ability for me to say that I accomplished today what I set out to do. Working out is a huge part of that for me right now. This morning, I ran for 25 minutes and did another 30 minutes on the eliptical machine, I will lift weights at home tonight. I had no soda yesterday, or bread with dinner. So, one goal for the week is already done, two days of running under my belt. and so far so good on the increased water and less bread plan. Slowly but surely I am earning who I want to be, and that feels really good.

Small goals, day 2

I should note initially that I am doing just fine on the mini goals. Drank more that eight glasses of water yesterday and only the two alloted sodas (although I realized at some point yesterday that I was only drinking the soda because it was there, so I did not bring any soda to work today). I lifted weights last night, so that is two days of weight lifting done for the week. There was absolutely no bread with dinner yesterday and I think I even made the required 5 daily servings of fruits and vegetables. I did not run this morning, I am sore and tired so I took it easy and just did an hour on the eliptical and stretching. Tomorrow, I am going to run especially since tonight is a rest night from weight lifting so I should feel better. Overall, I feel one hundred times better than I did even a week ago, my skin is starting to clear up (thank you copious amounts of water), I have more energy and feel less befuddled generally.

Little Goals

I think in the interests of full disclosure I should make a confession, I spend my life reading random exercise advice. I have read magazine articles, books, online blogs, anything you can think of about diet and exercise. I read Dr. Phil's book, was not terribly helpful for me, I read the stuff by Oprah's trainer, I read a bunch of cookbooks, so on and so forth. So, this weekend I was at the bookstore, and I picked up the following book, G-Force by Gunnar Peterson. Now, I found it really useful, probably because his philosphy on exercise and mine match up, and also because I was looking to change my resistance workout and make it harder. I like a book where I can adopt an actual plan and lift weights at home because it means I can spend the hour at the gym doing cardio work. Oh, and today after using one of his suggested intermediate workouts, my rear is seriously sore. Many squats and lunges on sunday night were probably the culprit, plus I hate lunges so I avoid them usually. In other news (I suddenly feel like a bad evening news anchor, you know with the immobile hair) I am adding mini-goals to every week to get back to being fully on plan. This week, my goals are as follows:

1. Drink more water and only 2 diet sodas a day

(Long term plan is to once again elimintate soda from my diet).

2. Bread at dinner only 3 times this week

( I have been eating way too much bread and not enough

fruit and veg, this is my first step towards fixing that problem).

3.Lift weights 4 times this week at home

(Arms with definition, this is my ultimate goal)

4. Run at the gym twice this week

(I am working on not just meandering along on the eliptical anymore)

There you are, my goals for this week. So far, I have lifted weights once, run once (this am), and eaten one dinner without bread. Oh, and I have not had any soda today and I just drank a bottle of water, .5L plus I drank a bottle of water while working out. So, far so good, now let me see how the week goes along.